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On All Things Converge

My "husband" (common law) of 16 years and I broke it off three years ago. We got together very young and eventually grew into different people who didn't have any spark for each other. After a few years of failed attempts at coming back around, we decided mutually, and amicably that we were not meant to be. We have a son together, and we decided that if for nothing else, our friendship would remain intact for his sake. Except for a few bumps in the beginning, it has been an easy transition. We have mutual love and respect for each other and we're better friends now than we had been through the entire last half of our relationship. My boyfriend of 2.5 years has a very similar story with his ex-wife. They have children, they vowed to stay friendly for their sake, and are now very good friends with each other. And I am good friends with her. I am also friends with my ex's new wife, and their new baby is a part of my life.

My boyfriend's ex-wife and I keep getting closer. I have thought that if we had met under different circumstances, she may very well have ended up my BFF. There is no awkwardness. There is no tension. We have socialized with groups of people that knew them as a couple and know us now as friends, and it has been nothing but good. I love this new arrangement, and I think my boyfriend and his ex do as well.

Having said all of that... No. Emphatically no. I would not have my ex or my boyfriend's ex officiate over any wedding that may happen. They will, if I have my way, both be there as friends and witness. But that is our day. Any attempt to bring them into the ceremony itself could potentially make the day about the weirdness of our situation to anyone in attendance. Maybe I'm selfish, but I believe marriage to be a celebration of the relationship at hand. I wouldn't want it to serve as a reminder to those in attendance of a relationship that once was.

Posted on March 12, 2013 at 12:27 pm 1

On The Meatballs Do Help,Though

Pffft, if my Malm could talk...

Posted on October 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm 10

On My Boyfriend Dreams of Food: The Second Taco

Oh, how I love sleep talking/walking stories. The way the brain works while in sleep is fascinating! And hilarious!

My BF is a frequent sleep talker in the mornings. Usually when I leave for work and he's still sleeping, I will crawl in with him and say my goodbyes with a cuddle. Usually I am greeted with some completely random comment or question related to whatever is happening in his mind at that time. Last week he asked me if I remembered which train it was. This morning he described a boiler system he wants to design in detail until I interrupted him with kisses (he's a plumber). Another time he told me the candy wasn't going to be ready until thursday, "So, too bad.". It's the cutest thing ever, and makes it really hard for me to crawl back out of the bed and go to work.

While on the topic of sleep brains, I have a question. When I wake up the very first thing I do is stumble to the bathroom half asleep and pee. I always have to go BAD very first thing. Anyway, with great regularity, I find myself having a mini panic attack while sitting and going... what if I didn't actually get out of bed? What if I'm still in bed and this is a dream? What if I'm PEEING THE BED!? Does anyone else do this? No? Just me? Okay.

Posted on October 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm 3

On Smoking Alternatives, Troubled Parents, and the Unappealing Business Trip

This is relevent to my interests because I just this week had my first Fresh Meat training session with one of the derby leagues in my city! Ladies, they told us during the info session that it would be rigorous and intense, and they weren't lying. My legs are so stiff that I'm walking like C3PO. But fun! Oh, so fun.

I've been brainstorming names for weeks in preparation, and I've narrowed it down to either Penny Maim (Beatles fanatic here) or Princess Slayah (Star Wars geek too). Since Princess Slayah appears to be taken, Penny Maim will likely be it.

Posted on June 8, 2012 at 2:37 pm 0

On Why Do We Still Live Here, in This Repulsive Town?

@Mariajoseh Me too, me too. But, while we're not broken up, things with current dude are kind of sketchy. Mostly from my end. I've kind of been preemptively listening to break-up-esque music in preparation. You know, just in case. I'm hoping things can be fixed, because I seriously love this dude, but I can't settle for anything less than awesome after having wasted so much of my life on mediocre from my ex.

Posted on May 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm 0

On Why Do We Still Live Here, in This Repulsive Town?

@breccalynn "I don't understand about complimentary colours and what they say. Side by side they both get bright. Together they both get grey. But he's been pretty much yellow, and I've been kind of blue. And all I can see is red, red, red now what am I gonna do?'

Posted on May 4, 2012 at 1:54 pm 0

On Why Do We Still Live Here, in This Repulsive Town?

@Mariajoseh Oh, definitely Fiona Apple here, too. When my ex and I split after 16 years I listened to the entire Extraordinary Machine album so, so many times. "Red, Red, Red" and "Not About Love" being the real tear jerkers, but any one of them could turn on the waterworks. I am proud to say that I can listen to that album without it raining on my face these days, but I know it's waiting in the wings for me should my current relationship tank.

Posted on May 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm 2

On Foggy Memories

I loved this. More, please!

Every time I hear the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight, I have this very hazey thought of my older cousin Dwayne looking down on me lovingly and singing this song. He's wearing corduroy pants and an orange striped shirt in this memory, and I can see the light of the lamp behind him coming through his curly blonde hair. I have this flashbulb-like memory every single time the song plays. I figured it was just some silly pseudo-memory since Dwayne and I only briefly lived in the same province, and during that time my father and his mother were in the midst of a sibling argument that lasted for years.

Flash forward to a few weeks ago when my mom was visiting. The song came on, and I described for her how I always have this same thought when I hear it. I ended with "But that's just silly because how could that ever have happened?" and she then told me that when I was about a year and a half, she and my dad took a vacation to Hawaii, and the only person around to watch me was my aunt. My father and her made brief amends and I stayed with her and my cousin in their tiny apartment for a week. My cousin has always been a singer, and is even now currently experiencing quite a bit of success in musicals. It is not outside the realm of possibility that during that time he would have sung to me as he adored me. To think I have a memory from when I was no more than a year old fills me with this sort of joyful awe. It's amazing really, the brain.

Posted on May 3, 2012 at 8:33 pm 10

On Ask a Clumsy Person

I have never dropped my phone in the toilet (yet), but I did somehow managed to drop my phone in my coffee mug at work. Not even a particularly large coffee mug, and from the other side of my desk, so yay for accuracy? I was dumb and continued to use the phone, even though it had been almost completely submerged. What? It was a little sticky, but it was still working!! The very next day, I dropped my phone onto my concrete front steps and cracked the screen. After that I promptly took myself to an Apple store to ask if the screen could be replaced or what? The lovely Apple guy looked my phone over, then asked me if I knew of anything else happening to my phone. Me, being incredibly naive and kind of impressed with my ability to hit a coffee mug from miles away, I told him my story. He just stared at me dumbfounded for a bit, then laughed. Apparently liquid submersion voids your warranty? And most people know of this? So when asked by lovely Apple guy (who has just checked the liquid detector in the phone and knows full well what happened)if they know of anything else happening to their phone, they lie? Not this girl. He thought it was hilarious and awesome that I was so honest (read: oblivious) that he decided to just give me a brand new phone to replace my ruined one. Love you, Apple guy! Yay for accuracy AND naivety?

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 6:25 pm 4

On Ask a Clumsy Person

Posted on April 13, 2012 at 6:25 pm 0