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On The Bermuda Triangle of Canadian Highway

This is why I try to never leave the city (except to go to crowded beaches).The woods are filled with hoardes of feral in-bred mouth-breathing killers. Never find yourself more than a mile or so of a place that sells lipstick.

Posted on July 11, 2011 at 1:38 pm 4

On Totally Thrown by New York Times Piece on Ex-Evangelical

@DickensianCat I just accessed it, but it looks like she deleted her last post, so maybe that was it. Try it again.

Posted on July 11, 2011 at 1:25 pm 0

On How to Not Sleep With Bartenders 2.0

Amateur night. Too complicated. Next time tell your friend to just puke on the bar.

Posted on July 11, 2011 at 1:17 pm 1

On Going Through Your Old Digital Camera as a Depressing Exercise in Maturity

@Gnatalby Unfortunately, crazy as fuck bitches seem to have sucubus phermones. They can reel men in with a mere batting of their crazy eyes. I've lot a few guys to these types. And they never get better.

Posted on July 8, 2011 at 6:37 pm 0

On "People Still Think That I’m the Same Sad Skank I Was in 2005"

This reminds me of the time my uncle screamed at my two pre-teen male cousins, "Where the FUCK did you kids get such SHITTY language?"

Posted on May 26, 2011 at 5:17 pm 2

On Man Boobs: Not Very Useful

I'm really glad I'm reading this in a time zone where it's after lunch.

Posted on May 25, 2011 at 10:43 am 0

On Tattoos For Your Lips

Lips like that will not make anyone want to kiss me.

Posted on May 4, 2011 at 10:19 am 1

On Think of Your Friend With the Worst Life

Sniff. Cat. I'm still sitting shiva for him and I'm not even Jewish (really, it's just an excuse to not shave my legs.)

Posted on March 2, 2011 at 11:00 am 0

On Women Laughing Alone With Salad

While walking on the beach on high doses of anti-depressants and talking about their great new cell phone calling plans.

Posted on January 3, 2011 at 2:26 pm 3

On Oo-ooh, Someone's Mad at The New Yorker

This is like going to the Yale Club for lunch and complaining about no pork buns on the menu or siracha on the table. You're in a dainty old tea room.Give up.

Posted on January 3, 2011 at 2:25 pm 0