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On Face Moles, "Perfection," and Shifting Dynamics

@punkahontas Anyone who needs you to be less so they can be more is someone you need to remove from your life. Immediately. Like right now. Don't worry, I'll wait right here while you call them and then I'll take you out for a cocktail to celebrate your awesomeness.

Posted on March 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm 9

On Things I Am Deathly Afraid of After Reading the Hairpin

@PrincessBeyonce Oh sweet baby james, the image in my head of those centipedes. I have to go scrub my brain now.

Posted on February 15, 2012 at 3:40 pm 1

On Do This No. 6: Festive Holiday Boundary-Setting

@Miss Cay My extended family hates me for the same reasons. I unwittingly sat next to an aunt who turned to me point blank in the middle of a family dinner and said, "you should really start thinking about having kids because your insides are almost dead." Not fully realizing what had just happened I asked her, "did you say my insides are dead or that I'm dead inside?" to which she replied, "either way". Chapter 52 of my multi-volume memoir.

Posted on December 15, 2011 at 5:28 pm 9

On Idle Friends, Gawky Roommates, and the Nap Dream

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict I see where we're going with this, but it was restaurant falafels. Come to think of it though, she never did tell me the name of that restaurant.

Posted on December 13, 2011 at 5:30 pm 0

On Idle Friends, Gawky Roommates, and the Nap Dream

@toastercat Lived in the same SNL neighborhood with a landlord who would regularly go through my trash. However, he wasn't the reason I moved- it was the Australian chick across the hall who constantly asked me if I wanted to join her for falafels.

Posted on December 13, 2011 at 3:31 pm 0

On Hairpin Costume Drama Club: The Duchess of Duke Street

@BethH Yes! I was so bummed I couldn't make the meetup last week. I just told someone yesterday that if I had to make a Sophie's Choice between PBS (Masterpiece) or CBS (reality junkie)it would be a no-brainer no matter how much I love Phil Keoghan's eyebrows.

Posted on September 29, 2011 at 12:19 pm 0

On Hairpin Costume Drama Club: The Duchess of Duke Street

@yeah-elle I second that! So many episodes to choose from, but it must include Miss Lemon.

Posted on September 29, 2011 at 12:09 pm 1

On Soothing Pictures of Miniature Desserts

At first I thought it was a fancy deviled egg (squint, head tilt).

Posted on September 22, 2011 at 3:16 pm 0

On Dear Hairpin: Party Games?

@Pimento! Ah geez, that should read "...the famous 'is it bigger than a breadbox?' line". You could also do a version of "I've Got a Secret" where instead of guessing occupations, people, places or things, you can do unusual talents, most embarrassing moments, weird family secrets, etc. There are a lot of old game shows that make hilarious drinking games. Bonus if you dress like the famous members of the panel, such as Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly from "Match Game". I think I may watch too many reruns on GSN.

Posted on September 4, 2011 at 11:50 pm 0

On Dear Hairpin: Party Games?

Love parlor games! We play a version of the old 1950s-1960s game show "What's My Line?" where a panel would guess the occupation of the guest using only yes/no questions. You keep asking questions until you get a "no" and then the next person gets a turn. I think it's where the famous "is it bigger than a breadbox line?" originated. Instead of doing occupations, we do people, places or things. Could be anything...stapler, the trunk of my car, Katherine Hepburn. When you get a "no" you drink.

Posted on September 4, 2011 at 11:34 pm 0