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On Cinnabon Vodka: "Smells like a butt, but a nicely lotioned butt"

Needs more Qream

Posted on February 12, 2014 at 4:47 pm 0

On Who Among Us Could Chew a Single Almond 25 to 40 Times to Optimize Its Nutritional Benefits

Why chew an almond at all ever in a world where marzipan exists?

Posted on February 12, 2014 at 4:46 pm 0

On The Marionette and Mr. Awkward

I'm really sorry this happened to you.

Posted on February 8, 2014 at 3:52 pm 0

On 20 Songs by Women that Will Turn 20 in 2014

When I first read the headline I thought it meant "20 songs by women that will (THE WOMEN) turn 20 in 2014 (BECAUSE THEY, THE WOMEN, WERE BORN IN 1994)" and I was like :((((((((

(But then I read the whole thing and felt better about my increasing and inevitable obsolescence because at least it has a nice soundtrack)

Posted on January 29, 2014 at 3:28 pm 2

On The Donnas: Where Are They Now?

The horse named Donna is what sold it for me.

Posted on January 27, 2014 at 3:34 pm 0

On Four Unfunny Truths About Laughter Yoga

Psst... I think that first #3 is supposed to be a #2.

...or maybe I'm supposed to imagine a world where the number 2 does not exist and laugh about it? (It is pretty funny, up there with throwing milkshakes at things)

Posted on December 12, 2013 at 3:04 pm 0

On Pass the Cranberry Chodes: Christmas, According to a December 1951 Copy of Woman's Day

"the sound of the slim stem snapping in the black wind of passion comes back time and time again"

I mean, what

Posted on December 11, 2013 at 2:59 pm 2

On A Post-Lunch Tab

Can we not do the "lol annoying vegans" thing here please?

Posted on December 10, 2013 at 3:27 pm 4

On 917 People Who Are Hotter Than Benedict Cumberbatch

Stopped reading at #3 because that is all that needs to be said on the damn topic. *folds arms*

Posted on December 6, 2013 at 4:04 pm 3

On The Third Fortunate Cookie

Oh jeez look at those goddamned adorable bears LOOK AT THEM

ARE YOU LOOKING

Posted on December 2, 2013 at 2:37 pm 1