Smartass by birth, librarian by training. I watch a lot of TV and eat a lot of cheese.

On Toy Guns, Barbies, Open Pill Bottles...

@bitchycrosstownexpress AH! That song! My uncles were entertaining on Mothers Day with their CD player (remember those?) on shuffle, and what should come up but "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw." I think enough alcohol had been consumed at that point for it to be mostly funny, but there was at least a little pearl clutching.

Posted on December 6, 2012 at 1:55 pm 0

On Toy Guns, Barbies, Open Pill Bottles...

@meetapossum My mom would try to do the "turn down the radio when there's cursing" thing when "Bitch" came on. In the car. Things got...dicey.

Posted on December 6, 2012 at 1:32 pm 0

On What Will They Name It

While I did endure a fair amount of pregnancy-related barfing, I was lucky enough not to have to deal with HG. So I have to ask-- could they not just have had some sort of house-call for this (hook her up to an IV to keep her hydrated, etc.), or did this really force their hand, pregnancy-reveal-wise?

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 2:42 pm 0

On What Will They Name It

@A. Louise Agree. Why am I so excited? I am mildly embarrassed about this. (BUT ONLY MILDLY.)

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 2:40 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

@katiemcgillicuddy Ugh, yes, fellow hockey fan (and local season ticket holder!) here. I can't believe they cancelled the Winter Classic; it makes me feel like they'll have no problem kissing another season goodbye. I don't care enough about the NBA or NFL to make it through the winter, and March Madness is SO FAR AWAY.

Posted on November 2, 2012 at 5:08 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread < ):^/

@redheaded&crazie Ahhh, yes! I've been having a shitty...month, and couldn't wipe the grin from my face the whole time. I'm going to see it tonight for a second time...with more booze, because WEEKEND.

Posted on October 26, 2012 at 6:31 pm 0

On Toxic Dating, "Abominable" Sisters, and the French Manicure

@Caitlin Podiak I agree, mostly. I think a French manicure on someone with natural nails of a reasonable length is just fine, and the alternative-color ones are downright adorable. But big fake nails with a French tip where the white part is, like, half the length of the nail? NO THANK YOU PLEASE. The French pedicure, however, is indefensible.

Posted on May 4, 2012 at 2:59 pm 1

On Unsettling Repetitions in Contemporary Literature: The Art of Fielding

This makes me wish I was industrious enough to actually have counted the number of breast descriptions in 1Q84. Because, damn.

Posted on April 24, 2012 at 4:41 pm 2

On And I Wear Colored Contacts

@redheaded&crazie That was one of the horror stories that my parents used to get me to NEVER, EVER want to ride a bike in open-toed shoes-- "Some kid in my neighborhood lost his big toe because he was riding his bike in flip flops." The mental image of a big toe all..stuck in a bike chain, was enough to get me not to do it as a child, and curl my toes defensively the few times I've done it as an adult.

They told a similar story to get me to stop jumping on the bed ("Someone fell off and her head was bleeding and she had bran damage!"), but that didn't really dissuade me. Jumping on the bed was TOO MUCH FUN.

Posted on March 23, 2012 at 12:08 pm 0

On Ask a Clean Person: Get Rid of Your Coworkers, Seriously, They Are Revolting

@Hellcat Seriously-- and then your HANDS smell like terrible sponge? Basically a recipe for Worst Day Ever.

Posted on March 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm 2