On Safe Sexting: Some Tips for Doing It Right

@TheFang, I saw balls. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

Posted on June 7, 2011 at 5:35 pm 0

On Don't Be the Last Girl on Your Block Without a Freaky Cup

I'm getting a George-Clinton-Parliament-Funkadelic-eating-spaghetti vibe.

Posted on May 27, 2011 at 5:44 pm 0

On Cooking for Your Own Wedding Without Losing Your Mind

@chevyvan, I thought about it. Having a small thing would make a lot of people happy, and truth be told I love parties. I like cooking, I like eating and drinking, and I like hanging around happy people. So, eh. :)

Whether we sign a piece of paper or not, our relationship is exactly the same before as after. We both know that. For me, it's very simple; if I'm with someone, it means it works. But signing a piece of paper allows us to gain certain rights and save thousands of dollars on health insurance and possibly taxes. I would be thrilled to only have to register as partners where my fiance works, but that option is only open to same-sex couples. I'm a chick with a dude, so it's not an option. Because signing the paper is a smart thing to do, I thought it would be a nice compromise and make my parents and grandma (who I care about) very happy to acknowledge that it means something to them. And if I decide I'm going to do something, I like to do it as well and thoughtfully as possible. So I'm doing this! :)

I get the romance in saying you're committing to someone out loud in front of a lot of people, but I'm not a very ... emotionally demonstrative (?) person. It's just not me. I'm more of a show through day to day actions and not do stupid shit person, but you know, it's cool. I can do this. I can make everyone in my family happy and in the process have a chance to cook obscene amounts of food, eat, and drink a lot with my family and friends. :) Focus on the positives, right?

Posted on May 26, 2011 at 2:44 pm 0

On Cooking for Your Own Wedding Without Losing Your Mind

Hahah, 'twas my question! :)

Along with the Hairpin answer (which they were kind enough to send along pre-publication so it REALLY helped - totally got my brain in gear), this collective set of suggestions could pretty much be made into a book of how to do this a million different ways. Awesomeness all around! So, what I'm doing is taking the idea of chili and riffing it into a taco bar. There'll be a kosher animal protein and tempeh, a couple of salsas (corn and bean, and roasted pineapple), Israeli salad, guacamole, lemon saffron rice, slaw, hummus, my dad's bringing grilled eggplant slices, roasted pepper strips, and we're making 2 banana breads, and turning it into a layer cake with coconut frosting because we're not in Chicago, @sheistolerable. :) (This is a great excuse to learn about coconut oil-based frostings.) My partner is all about southwestern cooking, I grew up eating Mediterranean, and the two go together really well, so there you have it. And there will be brisket to make the traditionalists happy. Brisket cooked in an assortment of chilis, but brisket nonetheless! We're putting out troughs, pretty much. Buffet style, in our apartment decorated with twinkle lights, and we're eating off plastic because homegirl says fuck doing dishes.

And TJ's deserves a shoutout for saving my ass with wine and beer. :)

Posted on May 25, 2011 at 10:10 pm 2

On The Pros and Cons: Online Dating

@whatawonderful, actually, I met my bf via electronic dating, and I wrote in the "what have you learned from prior relationships" box, "I don't feel like talking about this," followed by the story of the time we had to take my parents' cat (who is a long-haired angora mix) to the vet for an enema and then lock him in the bathroom with his litterbox so he could shit his guts out in a confined space. There was poop EVERYWHERE.

...Speaking of poop. And cats.

Posted on May 25, 2011 at 9:54 am 0

On We're All Doing It: Doll-Head Wine Glasses

Look, I know there's got to be some engineering types who read this thing... how can we make one that squirts wine out of the mouth or nostrils?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Posted on May 24, 2011 at 6:59 pm 0

On Do This No. 5: Off-the-Registry Wedding Gifts That Keep on Giving

Here's what I'm doing for my foodie friend who likes to cook for the shower gift:

Grow 'em yourself mushroom kit: $25.

Posted on May 23, 2011 at 2:36 pm 0

On Jason Segel's Butt Crack, Sorry

There have definitely been days when I go around singing "Bangers, Beans, and Mash." Jason Segel is funny, creative, ridiculous, slightly kooky, and talented, and I would hump him. Also, tall.

Speaking of humping and butt cracks, can we have more rounds of Hairpin Marry/Fuck/Kill?

Posted on April 26, 2011 at 1:42 pm 0

On Use Wine to Make Memories That Will Last a Lifetime

I find that by frequently applying chapstick while drinking, it creates a waterproof barrier the purple can't penetrate. If it's the kind of evening where I get home from the lab, hate life, my adviser, my project, my apartment, science, my socks, the contents of my fridge, crack open a bottle of wine, and just have at it, I exfoliate my lips while brushing my teeth.

However, with the skin chemistry I have (which absorbs EVERYTHING), there've been times when I've gone to school the next day with slightly more purple than usual lips, hoping no one notices the pathetic wino shuffling over to the PCR.

Posted on March 3, 2011 at 11:38 am 0

On Britney Spears' Sad "Hold It Against Me" Video

Is she just not dancing, or is it something like does she not have anymore cartilage in her back, or her knees are shot?

Dancing was totally her thing back in the day, and this complete lack of it makes me think that something's wrong. You look at Madonna who's arguably made having flashy routines her thing (and Janet Jackson), and those are two women who were in insanely good physical condition as they got older because you have to be if you want to do all those moves. You need the muscle to protect your joints, tendons, and ligaments. Spears? Just not at that level of insane fitness.

(I'm not bashing her figure. I'm saying there's a lack of the musculature necessary for someone older than 21 to do the kind of dancing she did back in the day.)

Posted on February 18, 2011 at 10:58 am 0