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On Text Messages From a Ghost

The people demand MELIS!!!!

Posted on February 16, 2012 at 12:48 am 0

On So You've Decided to Take Some Time for Yourself

Tags: MALLORY ORTBERG

Posted on November 8, 2011 at 2:06 pm 9

On Smoking: The Pros and Cons (Excluding All Health Risks)

@Lisa11111111 SERIOUSLY LISA! You probably really hurt Lisa1's feelings. In fact, she just called and told me so.

Posted on September 28, 2011 at 1:31 pm 4

On Ask a Clean Person: Bras, Sex Toys, DivaCups, and Leg Waxidents

For all of you wondering where @melis is, she has recently undergone crazy lasik surgery that is causing her all kinds of pain when she looks at a computer. Were I more witty I would make some comment involving eye lasers, sex toys, and eye lasers as sex toys, but this must suffice! She misses you all terribly.

Cordially yours,
sister of mallory

Posted on September 15, 2011 at 3:32 pm 5

On So You've Decided to Drink More Water

@melis Yes it is I, the meestair! I will have a hot scotch and water, hold the water, hold the heat, on the rocks.

Posted on August 31, 2011 at 12:43 pm 0

On So You've Decided to Drink More Water

This is the funniest thing I have ever read! And I've read John Maynard Keynes!

Love,
Your sister.

Posted on August 30, 2011 at 9:31 pm 1