The Psychic

A friend had gifted me a reading (or séance? or session?) with her psychic/life coach. It wasn’t my birthday. It wasn’t Christmas, or Hannukah, or any holiday that I knew of. The only thing that had happened recently was that my friend’s book had been launched. So maybe she was celebrating her book launch by giving me this present. But you know what? I didn’t even think about it much after asking her if she was sure she wanted to spend that kind of dough on me (“Go,” she’d urged, “Dr. Stayci gives good advice”). What’s so strange about a friend giving you a present, right? And, assuming she wouldn’t be like that psychic on 6th Street who tried to get me to buy her a Rolex and a 32 Regular cashmere suit to “pray over” (“isn’t your future happiness worth an investment?” she’d asked), who couldn’t use a little good advice? READ MORE

Hildegarde of Bingen to the Rescue


The Mac Who Loved Me

One summer, a long, long time ago, I came back to New York from Paris to work two hostess jobs in Manhattan while staying at my parents’ house in the suburbs. The primary reason I was back to sweat out a New York summer in high heels and little black dress was to make enough money in tips to buy my first computer by the end of the summer and take it back to Paris for my first year of university. I had my eye on this racy little PowerBook 165. READ MORE

The Evolution of Ape-Face Johnson

Three things informed me about my physical appearance when I was a little girl. First, my mother used to grab my ponytail and, observing how thick it was, say,"Thees ee' wha' they call een Ecuador 'reech girl hair.' Because ees nice an' theek." The second thing was when a creepy neighbor, looking at my five-year-old legs admiringly, informed my father that with those long legs I'd “grow up to be a tall beauty one day.” And last, when I was in the first grade, a little girl named Yoriko and her friend, another Japanese girl, came up to me in the cafeteria blushing and giggling, and said, "You have ... big ... NOSE!" Whereupon she and her friend covered their mouths, giggled, and ran away. READ MORE