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Texts From Nancy Drew

Nancy? Are you coming?
I’ve been waiting by the old oak in the park for almost an hour
I tried calling your father and he said you went out to the lake with Bess and George
but Bess came back ages ago
I guess maybe you didn’t take your phone with you
anyhow the picnic is here
and I am here too
whenever you get here
no rush!
I miss you
oh Ned
I’m so sorry
but I am so close to figuring out who the jewel thieves are
I think it has something to do with the ghostly figure that frightened Ms. Martin after the gala
and the twins are pretty sure they saw something out on the island
what did they see?
oh
could be anything
jewels
or anything
anyhow so it’s really important that I go sailing with them
well
if you really think it will help you solve the mystery 
oh absolutely
couldn’t solve it without them
just let me know when you get back
maybe I can see you afterwards?
i don’t know if i’ll have reception on the lake
it’s really hard for cell phone signals to cross running water so
yeah I know
hey I love you
byyye
don’t you have anything to say back to me?
Ned you know I can’t talk openly when I’m on a case
we don’t know who’s listening in
right, right
of course
sorry READ MORE

Texts From Jane Eyre

JANE
MY LITTLE SUNBEAM
WHERE ARE YOU
I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE
I’m taking a walk
be back for dinner
AH YES MY CAGED SPRITE
COMMUNE WITH NATURE AND UPON YOUR RETURN
RELATE TO ME THE VAGRANT GLORIES OF THE  RUINED WOODS
do you really want me to describe my walk to you
MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU POCKET WITCH
it is fairly cloudy out
looks like rain soon
AHHH TO THINK THAT MY LITTLE STARLING JANE
SHOULD RETURN
TO PERCH ON MY BROKEN MALFORMED SHOULDER
SINGING A SONG OF THE GREY AND WRACKING SKIES
MAKES MY HEART SWELL TO BURST
all right READ MORE

Texts From Sweet Valley High

Jess are you there?
yeah I’m here
Where were you?
what do you mean
Did you not get any of my texts?
no
The Sweet Sixteen people were here
for the interview about the fundraiser
they already came?
you weren’t here so I tried to do the best I could without you
Oh I know I was awful – I’m sure they won’t print anything I said
I’m so sorry you couldn’t make it
hey Liz
Yeah?
do you ever catch anything
when you’re fishing
for compliments
READ MORE

Texts From Scarlett O'Hara

where r u
Scarlett I'm at work I can't text right now
need u at mill
Scarlett I have the baby with me I really can't come to the mill
what baby
My baby. Wade. My baby with Melanie.
guess what kind of corset im wearing
I don't see what this has to do with the mi-
im not ;) READ MORE

The Return of Ghost

Previously: Text Messages From a Ghost. READ MORE

A Wizard Has Stolen Your Heart!

A wizard has stolen your heart! You sag and shake onto the ground as he issues his final set of instructions. READ MORE

Text Messages From a Ghost

October 14th READ MORE

Signs You'll Never Read in Your Office's Communal Kitchen

“This half-and-half is for everyone. Take as much as you need, I can always buy more.” READ MORE

So You've Decided to Take Some Time for Yourself

The candles are lit in a flickering perimeter around the bathtub. Cable-knit sweaters of all shapes and sizes await your appointment under the big bay window as a dozen steaming mugs of tea steep quietly on the sill. Your breathing is relaxed and even. Your spine is straight and supple. Your pelvic muscles are engaged and your internal organs are as clean as the day you brought them home from the store. You’re taking time for yourself. READ MORE

So You've Decided to Drink More Water

On the first day, you make the decision. “I’m going to drink more water,” you say. “Eight glasses a day, to start with. Maybe more.” Suddenly you realize the break room has gone silent. The sun sinks below the horizon as a sign of respect. You begin right away, finishing the cup of water already in your hand. READ MORE