This thread is so much fun.
The mom from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn was right on when she said you fall in love with the next boy because something about him reminds you of the first boy. At least for me, a trait from the previous dudes attaches to my attractiveness head-model.
So obviously I like fat dudes with big fat butts, but it's also like, I didn't even know I liked curly hair until I liked that one curly hair boy and now it's the BEST hair.
You're a sweetheart and I love you! Never again will I say "how is that okay?! D8<" And you made me feel better about touching him. I'm so so glad I asked, I learned so much and can now go forth and be a person.
Thank you all so much, everything was so thoughtful and must have taken time to get down. I appreciate and will utilize everything here.
Oh no, not you! Your roommate! I mean he is friends with a person who shits on his actual mirror and didn't even care. Not about the mirror having shit on it, or more importantly in my opinion, the fact that someone he liked enough to invite over purposefully shat in not the toilet. But then YOU'RE "fucking immature" for asking them to party quieter.
That dude needs to take a page from Dumbledore's book and stand up to his friends. I mean, he needs to do a lot of things, I'm just really surprised at the awful behavior that people put up with the preserve friendships.
I just wanted to sympathize with you, because I've been there and I do NOT know the magic words to make them stop being shitty, because the root seems to be in their freedom > you/women.
Like, here is the situation: you do a thing, someone tells you that thing is shitty, you keep doing the thing + punish the person who tells you thing is shitty.
Now we've all been in that situation, from hugging someone who prefers handshakes to wearing clothes deemed unacceptable.
The former: I now realize this person doesn't like hugs and their friendship > me hugging them.
The latter: I now realize this person doesn't like me showing my legs and decided my skirt > their opinion.
In this situation, we understand the disagreement and we address either our needs or the other person's. EVEN IF you don't know why a person prefers handshakes over hugs, you're still like oh okay you know better than me here. This bothers you. You can tell me why it might bother other people and I will listen. But we ignore the skirt people because they're infringing on our rights and we're not going to hear them out.
So whenever I talk to a dude like that and he doesn't change his ways, I feel like he has felt justified in placing himself first and no magic words exist to explain it to him, because he's made up his mind to be comfortable with himself and to degrade others he deems necessary to degrade (because I am PRETTY sure he respects his straight white male friends, yes?).
HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT FOOD. He cooks deliciously but is one of those "I forgot to eat today haha" people. The idea about having his favorites is a good symbolic gesture. Soul food! (Kill me)
And letting him have control of a thing, also really smart! I was so stumped by this and you guys are so wise and empathetic.
Ugh that is so smart about not bringing it up when he's sad. I kinda thought it would be rude to ignore a sad person's tears, but you're right! He'll say stuff on his own terms!
Another thing is that sometimes he'll tell me something (like something Quite Bad he says is only A Little Bad) my face is like D8< and he'll be like "Don't be upset!" and I think it might put him off because he doesn't want other people to feel bad, but sometimes the only proper response is D8< am I right???
/gettin teary because of all the empathetic smarties being helpful
What is with people putting up with terrible behavior?? Do we get all our anger out on the internet instead, or is it just uncool to complain about LITERAL SHIT?
To be the shopper whose face presumably caused a stranger to burst into tears! Shopper was all like yeah I need to start with the man in the mirror because apparently my face is traumatic.
How about LITERAL diarrhea I mean hot damn I have had to rinse out many a shart due to caffeine.
All of these stories are making me understand why Jim held out for Pam, y'all.