@wee_ramekin That's exactly what I meant, thank you for saying it better than me.
LW4, I can't tell whether you actually want to be friends with your ex. If not, like AQC says, that is okay. People don't have to be friends with their exes, even though there is a little more pressure to be in the queer community.
But if you do want to be friends and are just weirded out by the whole "but you broke up with me because I'm quiet" thing: there are a lot of traits that I don't mind in my friends, and don't dislike about my friends, that I do not want in a partner. For example, I have some friends who aren't very communicative about their needs, which, for the sake of hanging out and doing stuff together, is totally fine. But I know that for my Partner, I want someone who will be very straightforward about their needs. Similarly, your ex might know that ze needs someone who is gregarious and willing to be thrown into (potentially awkward) social situations often as a partner, but wouldn't require that of/inflict that on a friend.
This was a long way to say: what we look for in a partner is different from what we look for in a friend, and so if you want to be friends with your ex, that's okay too!
@Florence I really like your "amateur assessment" and totally agree with it. The kinds of things I fantasize about have almost no connection to the things that turn me on in bed/life... and that surprised me when I first started having sex. I have specific alone-time turn-ons and specific sexy-time turn-ons.
@TheLetterL "How long has it been since your last karaoke rendition of 'Like a Prayer,' my child?"
I not only love this, I live this. Thanks, Jen.
@BattyRabbit and @Mae One of them just friended me on facebook! IT HAS BEGUN!
@Amphora I learned just a few years ago! I did ride on the roads a bit, but the time I felt the most confident was when my husband took me to a big empty parking lot--road-like conditions with few of the dangers. Are there any parking lots you know of that might be empty (or at least have a large section empty)? Maybe an office area on a Sunday afternoon when not many people are working?
I haven't been able to be on the Hairpin as much because my new job is keeping me crazy busy. I love it, but I miss the 'pin.
My new coworkers are all so wonderful and fun and kind, I have giant friendcrushes on them all. I had a dream last night that we were all already friends and went out for dinner, just hanging out talking, and it was one of the best dreams I have had in a loooong time. I was a little sad to wake up and realize we still have to make the jump from colleague to friend yet.
@iceberg !!! I want too many cookies, too, Bergy Bit!
@stonefruit Like bits of fingernails! Bodies are weird.