I just asked my partner and he said he would take the million dollars to lose three inches, but he wouldn't do it for, like, $10,000. It would have to be the million.
@mollpants Dude, the first time I encountered a big dick--and not even like, porn star big, just bigger than average--I was like "Let's measure it! I'll get my sewing tape!" I can't believe no one's measured this guy's.
By leonstj on In Four Years, Man Arrested 62 Times For Trespassing (In The Convenience Store Where He Works)
@j-i-a THE SLUG. Is there a word for that humor of race-relations where it's hilarious but only because of the awful?
But I'm glad I'm in charge of nothing. All I could think of when I read this story last night was, my first response: "Fuck, I am so glad I am a straight white guy. I'd be in jail forever for my response if I was subjected to this shit, it is a testament to the awesomeness of human beings that they strive for change instead of just burning everything to the ground."
Followed immediately by: "Dude - the only reason you think of this shit as so inconceivable is that you're a completely boring straight white guy. The only reason you recoil so hard is that you didn't live your whole life used to this shit. The only reason you yourself assume that your individual actions will definitely fix everything is that you look EXACTLY LIKE The Man."
Oh man, it is all the worst. Thank you & Emma & Edith & all of the others for writing & editting this website - I know I'm not the target demographic, but I'm eternally grateful to have somewhere I can go to get the kind of perspectives that are easy for someone like me to completely miss in the same place as one of my favorite sources of plain-old-entertainment.
"Will Onymous throw in an extra three inches to add to what he's already won and take home ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN CASH?"
I think maybe you need to accidentally flip a lot of forks on the floor in your lunch room just in case he's there.
By stuffisthings on In Four Years, Man Arrested 62 Times For Trespassing (In The Convenience Store Where He Works)
I demand they all receive the harshest punishment imaginable for a police officer: several months of paid leave.
I was re-reading Ender's Game today and thinking "... I bet queer theorists have a FIELD DAY with this one." AND THEN I WAS VINDICATED.
I also want to add that Brian Lowry's attitude that you're only successful in comedy if you currently have your own TV show is an impossible standard, and one which all comedians hear echoed from their relatives at some point. Sarah Silverman is massively successful. Any comedian who is making their living solely from comedy is successful. The idea that she's "frittered around the edges of breakout success" is ridiculous. It's weird, because it's like if you found out that a friend worked in an office and asked, "Oh, are you the CEO of the entire company? No? Well, keep plugging away! Maybe if you weren't so XY&Z someone would discover you!"
Not to mention that for many comics, just being able to do stand-up is the goal in itself.
@jinsher Dude here. I personally might have a really hard time getting down w/ this cuz of insecurities, but I don't think it's sexist to for women to judge men like this, even though I would think so of an app that did the same for women.
My thought on this is, men, unless they are D'Angelo, basically never have their worth-as-a-human reduced to their worth-as-a-romantic-partner. We are at no risk, when you treat a line of us like some sort of buffet of date-going-on & carnal pleasure, of having to live a life in which our #GoodWithHisTongue---AndTalkingTo or #CalienteInTheStreetsSinPicanteInTheSheets makes any difference at anything in our life OTHER THAN our role in the buffet.
EDIT: I am obviously preaching to the choir when i said: "when we judge a woman as a romance/sex partner, it is taken as the sum total of their value. You judge a man as a sexual partner, you judge a man as a sex partner and...that's about it." - I didn't mean it as a grand revelation people aren't aware of, just saying it's why, as a dude, I don't get offended by lulu.