On Talking About #FemFuture

Word up to all of the above. You guys are all basically saying the things I'm feeling, but far more eloquent and thoroughly.

Posted on April 12, 2013 at 1:44 pm 0

On Talking About #FemFuture

"It's easy to understand how people who are habitually marginalized might be sick of making all the effort to bring about their own inclusion."

Aaaand just like that, my initial feelings about the topic are checked.
It's just so damn complicated. I really want to believe, and mostly do, that no one who sees themself as part of the movement is actively and intentionally being exclusionary or ignoring the issues of intersectionality. We need those voices, but we can't, and shouldn't try to, speak for them. So we need to be better about bringing them in to the discourse.
And of course there's the argument that dividing our attention among all the issues at once weakens our position, and that we should take one issue at a time (at least this seems to be a debate in the LGBT crowd re: marriage). But with that approach, will the issues of the relative minorities ever get addressed? There will always be bigger, more pressing, visible fights.

Ugh. Am I even making sense? I'm both over-caffeinated and doped up on painkillers.
I really care about intersectionality and am interested in the whole discussion, but it kinda feels like there will never be a solid common ground or solution. Too many issues and perspectives and variables.

Posted on April 12, 2013 at 1:39 pm 1

On One-Page Screenplays: "The Accidental Racist"

@fondue with cheddar

Posted on April 9, 2013 at 3:37 pm 0

On "Comfort IN, dump OUT."

@S. Elizabeth
Blog is a pretty great idea. My sister started one to update people on the adoption process. It's been very hard for them, and she was sick of having to go over the same bad news with everyone. So blog! Follow it and leave me alone.
I pretty much did the same thing with the extended family when I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension, but through email.

Posted on April 9, 2013 at 1:08 pm 0

On "Comfort IN, dump OUT."

Alas, a reaction like that isn't very well regarded when it's family.

Posted on April 9, 2013 at 1:01 pm 0

On "Comfort IN, dump OUT."

@Lily Rowan
I'm a little torn on this.
There are plenty of people I'm comfortable enough with that dumping in wouldn't be a problem. In fact having those really honest conversations can sometimes make me feel better. And I think the perceived inability or reluctance to say those things to me is at least part of why some of my close friends backed off almost completely.
But, on the other hand, don't be insensitive.

Posted on April 9, 2013 at 12:55 pm 1

On "Comfort IN, dump OUT."

I'd add that they also need to be treated like real people and humanized as much as possible.
Being sick is incredibly objectifying. So many people viewing and touching and investigating so much of you.

Posted on April 9, 2013 at 12:49 pm 2

On Getting Old Won't Stop Being the Worst

I'm really sorry to hear that.
Clearly an Advanced Directive isn't going to make the illness or loss of a loved one any easier to cope with emotionally, but it goes a long way to remove some of the stress of dealing with the practical side of things. And with one at least you know you'll be able to honor their wishes, no matter what happens.

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 3:47 pm 0

On Getting Old Won't Stop Being the Worst

Parents! The perfect and most literal embodiment of, "Can't live with 'em, can't (couldn't) live without them."

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 3:39 pm 0

On Getting Old Won't Stop Being the Worst

Yea, my mom has Parkinson's, which for her at least slows the mind and memory quite a bit, and has the added bonus of raising the risk of or expediting dementia.
She's finally in an assisted living apartment building, but I just have so much dread about what's to come. It was so hard just to get her to the place she's in now. It was super fucking dicey there for a long time.

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 12:34 pm 0