Once I saw a blimp!

On My 90s/00s Beauty Trends: Where Are They Now?

Uhm I still have a pink and purple Caboodles case. (I am 29 and proud!) I'll check and see if your lipstick is in it.

Posted on April 22, 2015 at 5:23 pm 1

On What Should I Name My Plant?

Ms. Angostura Bitters

Posted on March 25, 2015 at 11:41 am 2

On How To Change Your Name In 41 Easy Steps

Don't forget about updating the records on all your utilities and credit cards and bank accounts and who-knows-what-all-else! And then being told by some knob on the phone that the social security number you are giving them is linked to your old name, and they can't change the record until you give them the social security number that links to your new name, and you're staring at your new social security card and stammering, "This... this is it. This is my social security number," and they're like, "You have to register your name change with social security," and you're like "But... but I DID, that's how I have the card?" and finally you realize this person thinks you're trying to scam them somehow and you know what? the gas bill can just come addressed to your maiden name if it's so damn difficult for them, let's see if they ever have a problem with it and THEY NEVER HAVE.

Posted on October 14, 2014 at 2:00 pm 0

On Ask a Fancy Person: Talking About Military Service, Finding Goodbye Gifts, Being the Broke Friend at the Wedding

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) - My only thoughts on the one-year rule is if you are going to use your full year, please tactfully make that clear. At our wedding, we had two guests who did not give us a gift at the time of our wedding; one of them told us in advance, and kindly, that she wasn't going to be able to swing anything at the time, allowing me to tell her that her presence was our present, and no worries, we appreciate the thought, etc etc. Another guest did not gift us anything, and as we're going down our list to be sure we'd sent all our thank-you notes, we needed to double-check that we didn't receive anything from her, and then worry about whether she sent something that got lost in the mail, decide whether or not to ASK her if she sent us anything or was she planning to?, and finally awkwardly determine that the mystery might never resolve itself, and sent her a vague 'thank you for being a great friend and being there for us on our big day' card.

TL:DR: Have some mercy on brides who want to thank givers promptly for gifts and try to make it clear if you're planning on a delayed gift.

Posted on August 15, 2014 at 5:00 pm 0

On In Praise of L.M. Montgomery's Literary Crones

@TacoBanana Sign me up as an Emily of New Moon supporter, too. Some seriously wonderful spinsters in those books too - amazing how fast they all come back to me! Ellen the housemaid, Aunt Laura, Aunt Elizabeth, that weird wealthy great-aunt (?) that she visits and smashes a vase 'shivering into a million pieces'! I must have read those books a dozen times.

Posted on June 27, 2014 at 12:21 pm 0

On Sangria Recipes for a Sweaty Summer

We correctly predicted that a relative was pregnant when she refused white peach sangria. No woman in the world can resist its siren-song unless she has a dang good reason.

Posted on June 24, 2014 at 4:30 pm 0

On "The truth is, the ten or twenty minutes I was somebody’s mother were black magic": Ariel Levy's "Thanksgiving in Mongolia"

Jimminy Cricket. This is a powerful thing. I'm totally fascinated by *her* fascination with the brief life of her child. It makes me think about how Western culture prefers to keep death at a distance, whether or not that is what's helpful.

Posted on November 11, 2013 at 2:36 pm 0

On Dear Office Hottie

I swear to the good lord above, if not for Office Hottie, all I would own is one interview outfit and then fifty pairs of cathair-encrusted sweatpants. Office Hottie - I learned winged eyeliner for you.

Posted on October 23, 2013 at 9:56 am 3

On Sharing Different Heartbeats: Annie, The Knife, Robyn, Jose Gonzalez, A-Trak + Kanye, Grizzly Bear, Girls Aloud

Holy cow - other people heard of Annie? When I found her (long before Itunes and Youtube were the norm) no one I knew had heard of her. I just quietly listened to Chewing Gum on repeat for a year or two. Was she popular?!

Posted on August 29, 2013 at 10:28 am 0

On Flaubert to Maupassant in an 1878 letter: "You complain about fucking being ‘monotonous’. There’s a simple remedy: cut it out for a bit"

I just want to say that this very day is two days before my 28th birthday. And I'm in a bit of a monotony-hell myself. This article is relevant to my interests.

Posted on August 1, 2013 at 1:17 pm 0