@Bittersweet John Mayer is anti-hot. Like when I think of him it usually ends in "ugggggggghhh, well I should just join a nunnery because all men are skeevy letches who date a way too young T. Swift and sing awful, awful song. Must ablute away all traces of humanity and sew myself in a hairshirt so that I never have to think about the possibility of body being a wonderland."
Make your very own Benedict Cumberbatch at home! Here's how:
(Step 1) Craft a life-size likeness of Michael C. Hall from soft butter
(Step 2) Leave said likeness in the sun for an hour
(Step 3) Add the spark of sentient life to the likeness.
This week I'm coming to you live from Coffee bean because:
1. The hairpin is blocked on work computers.
2. Cellular data has mysteriously stopped working in the office. Faraday cage?
3. I was excused from jury duty because I am too smart for my own good.
Happy Friday y'alls!
Sobriety update: No alcohol for eight months now, Hairpin. One thing I've learned is that I have a backbone ("Should I just give in and drink that frosty IPA? No. Come on. You've made it this far. Do you want to start over again?") and that has translated to joining a crazy strenuous strength program to make my outsides match my tough insides. Stay warm out there!
By iceberg on Friday Open Thread
The Diva, upon wearing a ruffled t-shirt and red plaid skirt:
[looks down at self]: "I'm a princess!"
[runs over to her brother] "Look!" [holds out skirt and dances a little bit to show it off]
[arrives at daycare, stands expectantly in front of teacher waiting for compliments]
She's going to be trouble.
We cut the feet out of the Diva's and the Clown's flannel footie PJs to make them last a bit longer, but Dimples (formerly known as the Quiet One) is having nnone of that and EVERY NIGHT as we put her footie PJs on she says "Don't cut them! Don't cut them!"
The Clown, my last holdout, has finally started potty training for real. He still has a lot of accidents if we don't remind him to go all the time, but he has volunteered "Mummy, I need to piss!" quite a few times as well, so we are making progress!
Next stop, getting rid of diapers at nap and night time.
Fuck I hate diapers.
He's kind of doing a Chris Parnell impression here.
This looks all too familiar:
23. Drink more wine.
24. Remember that you were going to start counting Weight Watchers points again today.
25. Write down “wine: 10.”
26. Understand that it will likely be more like “wine: 30” by the time this is all over.
The cabana reference was the best. Along with "Summer Fridays" (knocking off work at lunchtime because maybe you have a cabana, or a summer share) cabanas seem to be echt New York.
Hilarious!! Perfectly captured what I have felt like more often than I care to admit.
If I change my name to Katy or Katie or Catey or some variation thereof, can I be best friends with these totally awesome ladies????