Famous People It Took Me Way Too Long To Realize Are Not the Same Person

Pamela des Barres & Pattie Boyd: I thought that one woman had just slept with a whole lotta rockstars. No judgement; I respected her. READ MORE

Men Explain Cars To Me

In the summer of 2011, a friend convinced me to try make a profile on OkCupid. I filled my profile with jokes because I wanted project a certain personality: “haha look how not seriously I am taking this, I am a carefree and fun girl, please date me.” READ MORE

Mysteries of the English Language

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? READ MORE

The internet is abuzz over Jean-Paul Goude's provocative photos of Kim Kardashian's naked backside on the Winter 2014 issue of Paper. No word yet if the Kwik-E-Mart will be stocking it.

What Your Favorite Alcoholic Beverage Says About You

A classic drink for a classic girl! Holy shit do you love Mad Men. You wear red lipstick, you love old movies, you don’t understand today’s music or fashion trends. You get along better with your grandmother than you do with most people your own age. You were born in the wrong generation, for real! You love it when your boss, Barry, calls you “sweetheart,” and you don’t get why it rattles your female coworkers so. You voted for Romney. You alienate your queer friends at parties with your dated sociopolitical views. You would totally pick Cary Grant over Channing Tatum any day!! Keep it old school, sister! READ MORE

Megan Amram...For You!

Here’s a hot tip: if you're interviewing a comedian over the phone, don't do the transcribing yourself. READ MORE

Excerpts From the November 2014 Vogue, Presented Without Commentary

Our destination the next day is the Holy Grail: Castle Gravenwezel, the home of Axel and May Vervoordt. Axel’s son Boris, a model of courtly hospitality and courtly proffered knowledge, leads us there in his crocodile-green Rolls-Royce Corniche. READ MORE

Texts from Mallory Ortberg

Whenever I have an idea for something funny to write on the Internet, I have to make sure that it isn’t just something I’ve subconsciously ripped off from writer/webmistress Mallory Ortberg. If there is a joke to be made about anything, chances are Mallory’s already made it, in a both subtle and absurd way that will seep into your brain and stick with you for months. READ MORE

In yesterday's municipal elections, there was a Vaughan, Ontario candidate for regional councillor. His name is Max Power. READ MORE

13 Things That All Women in Their Twenties Who Are Possessed by Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, Are Sick Of Hearing

1. "But how is painting upside down crucifixes with ram's blood going to help you pay off your student loan debts?" READ MORE