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Tips For Surviving The Holidays With Your Family

Yes, we all know that your Uncle Jeff’s views on same-sex marriages are terribly backwards. Resist the urge to call him out on his conservative viewpoints while at the dinner table. Accept that doing so will just make everyone else uncomfortable and the two of you will almost never see eye-to-eye on sociopolitical issues. Instead, try to focus on staying on his good side. His army training will come in handy after the post-apocalyptic landscape, when the mutant Bog People inevitably attack. READ MORE

The Hottest Take Of All

"How's this for a hot take?" were words I almost considered typing before I realized doing so would get me banned from the internet forever. READ MORE

Unofficial Official Hairpin 3.0 Book Club: The Pillow Book

*Looks up from book* Oh, hello!
*Puts book down*
*Rolls up sleeves on artfully slouchy cardigan*
*Folds up tortoiseshell glasses that accentuate intellect while simultaneously enhancing natural beauty somehow*
I didn’t see you come in! I was just sitting here, indulging in some highbrow literature,
*Conspicuously pushes smuttier reading material out of frame with foot*
I am here today to announce the launch of the Unofficial Official Hairpin 3.0 Book Club. READ MORE

Tips For Treating Your Skin in The Wintertime

Winter is a magical time of year. Who doesn't love winter? Curling up under a handknit afghan blanket by a roaring fire with your sweetie pie, the smell of pine and peppermint in the air, the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas playing on your expertly set up sound system, a gentle snow falling outside acting as a clean white blanket to Mother Nature, covering up suspicious footprints and DNA and those mysterious bloodstains. You are next spring's problem, incriminating evidence! But all that cold, dry, drying winter air is not good for your skin. I'm no scientist or dermatologist or beauty expert. But I'm obsessed with skin. Touching it, stroking it, caressing it, smelling it. Poking it. Did I say touching it? Skin. Skin. Here's what works for me. READ MORE

An Open Letter From A Person Who Does Not Quite Get The Concept Of Open Letters

An Open Letter to The New York Times READ MORE

Excerpts From The December 2014 Vogue, Presented Without Commentary

On Hollywood Bad Boys
"But does this occasional model—currently the face of the Calvin Klein cologne Reveal—fear coming off as fake? "I grew up unsure whether I would end up being in the film business or being a gangster," he says, without a hint of irony. (His father, scrap-metal kingpin Billy Hunnam, ran northern England's underworld for decades.)" READ MORE

Expectations vs. Reality vs. Alternate Reality

First Date
Expectation: You are witty and charming beyond belief. Your hair has never looked better. You end the evening with a passionate kiss, and neither of you have bad breath.
Reality: It's obvious that both of you are trying really hard. Half of your jokes fall flat, but to be fair, so do theirs. You exchange a friendly hug at the end of the evening.
Alternate Reality: You are a scorpion. They are a shapeless ball of light. The world has ended, but it wasn't really there to begin with. The sex is awkward but adequate. READ MORE

Famous People It Took Me Way Too Long To Realize Are Not the Same Person

Pamela des Barres & Pattie Boyd: I thought that one woman had just slept with a whole lotta rockstars. No judgement; I respected her. READ MORE

Men Explain Cars To Me

In the summer of 2011, a friend convinced me to try make a profile on OkCupid. I filled my profile with jokes because I wanted project a certain personality: “haha look how not seriously I am taking this, I am a carefree and fun girl, please date me.” READ MORE

Mysteries of the English Language

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? READ MORE