By TenyaLuna on "As if sex work is only work if it’s 'good' work, if we love to do it"

Pretty much, and I mean that as a former stripper/website model - it really isn't a long-term job, it is a job full of much worse feminist compromises than the other service sector work I do now (not considering plastic surgery for one thing!) - for all the "oh no strippers are so self-confident! you learn so much about different kinds of beauty working there!" I learned my managers were racist pricks that were happy to encourage unhealthy dieting and pocket money from working moms for made up offenses. Or to tell women with back or foot problems they'd be fired if they didn't wear the requisite 6" or higher heels. And I worked at a lot of different places. I don't think that if there had been sufficient economic opportunities for 19-year-olds far from home with unemployed live-in boyfriends I would have chosen it. At least for as long, at least putting up with the abuses of so many. And not to say other service jobs don't have lots of abuses, but is that really a good argument for defending the sex industry?

I think that in a world with sufficient opportunities, we'd probably still see burlesque or other displays of sensuality/sexuality that are not money making. It is not that I'm opposed to women being sexual in a public way, but I'm wary of insisting that there's no difference between the sex industry and any other industry, and that feminists should not criticize it or want to see it gone. And I have a feeling that positive changes are going to result in making it much less profitable, which is really something I'm okay with.

Posted on March 6, 2014 at 12:40 pm 3

By cupcakecore on It's All In Your Head: A Conversation About Being Sick Without a Diagnosis

So there was also an IHTM article on xoJane today about a woman who had chronic appendicitis that went undiagnosed for an extended period of time. And it fills me with the burning rage of 1000 suns that even now, in this day and age women's illnesses are still dismissed as psychosomatic in spite of numerous physical symptoms. Also this line: "Also, why do so many doctors still inadvertently learn and quote Freud? In what other realm do we still consider 19th century medicine as authority?" AAAAAAUGH. *rageragerage*

And what's worse is when articles like this are posted commenters come out of the woodwork to share their own stories both big and small. I myself had a pretty minor situation where my feelings were initially dismissed by my PCP, but my OBGYN was thankfully more on point. But then how do you even begin to change a culture like this?

Posted on January 29, 2014 at 10:48 pm 2

By Bus Driver Stu Benedict on We Didn't Use to Say It Like This

You are all wrong. The correct form is "didn't no how done."

Posted on January 29, 2014 at 2:38 pm 3

By alliepants on But How Feminist Is Your Dry Cleaning?

dude this is definitely a thing. I always look less polished than many of my male coworkers because dry-cleaning is expensive so I try to stick to clothes I can wash. Granted, the dress code isn't so formal at work dry-cleaned clothes are required, but it would help. Cheap drycleaning would mean that my life would be better/I'd look less shlubby! I'm legit looking up this place now.

Posted on December 17, 2013 at 11:51 am 2

By youresmalltime on Realistic ModCloth Descriptions

You'll really shine with the cheap elastic waistline, see-through unlined skirt, and shoddy serger-machine construction! $129.99.

Posted on December 12, 2013 at 12:08 pm 9

By Sea Ermine on Befriending Your Best Friend's Girlfriend and Resisting the "One True Sex Act"

@Sea Ermine Also, I don't do anything kinky so if you were concerned that you'd have to find someone through kink meetups don't worry, lots of vanilla straight guys are fine with skipping p in v if they aren't boring. Although if you do want to attend a kink meetup that's great too.

Posted on December 3, 2013 at 3:30 pm 2

By j-i-a on Ask a Dietitian: Salt Cravings, Workout Food, and Things to Eat When I'm Stressed

@Kira-Lynn@twitter "How do I balance trying to lose weight, trying to eat less meat and carbs, and also trying to have good workouts" =/= "How do I disown my gay son"

I also think that individuals are more than within their right as responsible, socially aware human beings to still identify a certain weight as something that feels good and healthy for them. Individually. But... I get that this is a tricky issue!

Posted on December 2, 2013 at 5:39 pm 9

By Tragically Ludicrous on Ask a Dietitian: Salt Cravings, Workout Food, and Things to Eat When I'm Stressed

@adorable-eggplant I legitimately prefer brown rice to white rice. It is the one healthy thing my body goes with, so I go with it hard.

Posted on December 2, 2013 at 4:41 pm 3

By j-i-a on Ask a Dietitian: Salt Cravings, Workout Food, and Things to Eat When I'm Stressed

@Kira-Lynn@twitter i also think (hope) this does not fall so much under "weight-loss tips" as much as "nutritional advice for individual people who want to achieve goals that are, because of their personal nature, off the table for abstract judgment." i know that food is a hard issue to talk about for a lot of people and as much as i fully respect anyone's prerogative to be like "FUCK LOSING WEIGHT, THAT'S A LOADED METRIC AND NOT HOW I WANT TO THINK ABOUT MY BODY" i also fully respect someone else's right to be like "i am interested in working out more and also dropping some weight, how can i do that healthily and not self-deprive?"

Posted on December 2, 2013 at 2:44 pm 19

By turnipgreens on Get These White Boys Out My Children's Books

This is my favorite thing to talk about!

For medium-sized kids:

Joan Aiken forever and ever: Wolves of Willoughby Chase, Black Hearts in Battersea, Nightbirds on Nantucket, The Stolen Lake, the Cuckoo Tree. Dido Twite is a hero for all genders and ages (she comes into her own in Nightbirds on Nantucket). I recommend these all the time.

Dragon of the Lost Sea by Laurence Yep. Protagonists are a female dragon, who narrates the story, and a male human.

I thought Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech was pretty good and I've heard kids say they like it.

Jean Craighead George is classic, and Julie of the Wolves is WAY better than My Side of the Mountain. I remember thinking it was great, but I'm white -- any Native readers have an opinion on this one?

There were two books by Elizabeth Enright, Gone-Away Lake and Return to Gone-Away, that I read over and over (young weirdos befriend older weirdos, find awesome things in attics). Mild real-world adventures by kids of both the major genders (and a couple of different age strata, too, I think).

Hiromi Goto's Half World is magically adventurous and horribly creepy and contains two bonuses besides its protagonist: a queer widow (okay, the widow thing is a problem, but the emphasis is on their love) and illustrations by the truly great Jillian Tamaki.

Let us not forget comics! Persepolis (Marjane Satrapi) has attained classic status by now, I think. There was a short series called Courtney Crumrin and the Night Things, by Ted Naifeh, that I remember really enjoying.

For teenagers and adults who like to read things that teenagers read:

Paula Danziger (The Cat Ate My Gymsuit, This Place Has No Atmosphere, The Pistachio Prescription) writes very funny books for young teens that anybody could potentially get into. They were around when I was a kid, and they've aged okay.

Sherman Alexie's Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. I taught some stories from his collection The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven to 6th graders and they were pretty into them.

Mariko Tamaki is the cousin of the aforementioned Jillian and they did a graphic novel together called Skim. SO good.

Malinda Lo's list is also relevant for YA readers, whether Y or A!


Posted on November 15, 2013 at 11:35 am 2