On Paying Your Share and When You Can't

My husband went out to dinner with a group of friends for a birthday, and ate 2 pieces of a pizza. Everyone else ordered appetizers, wine, cocktails, etc. Then they decided to split the bill evenly, which was SEVENTY DOLLARS A PERSON. Good god. A few months later it was the prior birthday girl's boyfriend's birthday, and they invited us to dinner. We spent awhile preparing a carefully worded email that said, basically: "We'd love to, but want to make sure in advance that we can order on our own check since finances are tight - hope that's cool." The response? "Sorry you can't make it."


Posted on March 15, 2013 at 4:20 pm 5

On The Fault in Her Stars

Hello, what's this about fairy dust?

My Virgo chart held nothing of note. Although it did correctly project that I will be tired, and that my "one-and-only" will be very vocal about his feelings. Seeing as how I have a 6-month-old baby, yes, I am tired. And yes, he is pretty damn vocal about his feelings (today's 4am feelings involved "OW TEETH" and "HUNGER NOW").

Posted on February 28, 2013 at 12:33 pm 4

On An Interview With a Mom of Triplets

@Ophelia Yes, exactly. I love the cloth diaper concept in theory, due to the whole "I already own all the diapers - I just have to wash them," but we don't own a washing machine so NOPE. I started to use a service, then realized: wow, cloth diapers SUCK (he is soaked immediately! they are huge and bulky!), so we went disposable and never looked back. Luckily here in the lovely San Francisco Bay Area, there is a composting diaper service, so for $30 more a month our diapers are turned into fertilizer or something. And that's how I've convinced myself I'm not killing the planet.

Posted on February 27, 2013 at 7:14 pm 0

On An Interview With a Mom of Triplets

My husband and I are still lost in the "should we put cream on that? will it go away on its own? should we let him keep sleeping? never wake a sleeping baby! but does he need to be picked up? is he ready for solids? which solids? not that solid!" land of new parents (6 months today!), so if we had more than one it would be so tempting to try out multiple options. Give this one peas and that one carrots! See which one learns to talk first! Dress this one in super gendered clothes, and that one only in polka dots! See which one ends up going to college! etc. My question: how tempted are you to perform similarly weird experiments with your offspring?

Posted on February 27, 2013 at 3:04 pm 11

On That Baby Wants to Break You Up

@catfoodandhairnets I WILL NOW.

An hour ago he sat up on his own. He then promptly face-planted, but oh my god the joy on his tiny face as he sat there, sorta trembling, all by himself! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaby I am smitten.

Posted on January 23, 2013 at 12:29 pm 1

On That Baby Wants to Break You Up

@packedsuitcase Aw, I like Dudefriend. I showed this article to my husband, and he was all "Do you think it's that bad?! It doesn't seem that bad to me. It's hard, but I'm happy." And this was a man who didn't think he wanted kids initially (he changed his mind before I got pregnant - it wasn't an "oops, I'm knocked up, guess you'll have to deal!" situation. Although, it WAS an "oops, I'm knocked up" situation. Anyway. TMI.)

Posted on January 23, 2013 at 12:22 pm 1

On That Baby Wants to Break You Up

@Ophelia Also, one huge thing that really does make the imbalance worth it...there's no one like mom. The other day the baby started crying after I got out of bed. I peeked in, and my husband was laying next to him, shushing, singing, patting, the works. Nothing helped. I went in and laid down on the other side of the baby and without me doing a single thing he smiled at me and stopped crying immediately. This happens every few weeks. Sometimes he just wants his mom, and goddamn if that doesn't make any biological imbalance seem just fine to me.

Posted on January 22, 2013 at 8:04 pm 1

On That Baby Wants to Break You Up

@DoilyMadison Seriously. What am I going to do when the book stops telling me that my kid's world is suddenly upside down, and what games to play with him to make everything fun?

Posted on January 22, 2013 at 6:35 pm 0

On That Baby Wants to Break You Up

@DoilyMadison I LOVE THE WONDER WEEKS. Every time we get the demon child, without fail, I look at the book and OH WHAT A SURPRISE there's a whole chapter here, describing EXACTLY what is going on. The baby is 21 weeks old now, and the Week 19 chapter was spot fucking on.

Posted on January 22, 2013 at 5:28 pm 0

On That Baby Wants to Break You Up

@Ophelia The balance is tricky. And sometimes it just doesn't exist. I was home for 3 months, then went back to work (2 months ago). My husband is a student, so he took last semester off and we were both home 24/7 with the baby - he is now taking night classes so he's home during the day, then I take over at night. My mom helps out too. I'm breastfeeding, and pumping at work. It's hard at night - we co-sleep, so I nurse at night. It doesn't make sense for my husband to wake up, get a bottle, warm it, and feed the kid, the whole time while the kid cries impatiently and prefers the boob anyway, and I'm right there, clearly no longer asleep so why don't I just feed him already. So, I get cranky because I work all day and then parent all night, whereas my husband parents all day, and then either goes to class or gets the night off. But because of biology, that's how it worked out. So I just have to tell him that I'm cranky, and then he agrees to take over diaper changing duty in the middle of the night, and then asks me to tell him what I need instead of pouting, and I apologize, and we all move on.

Posted on January 22, 2013 at 5:24 pm 2