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On My Best Friend's Cancer

This was heartbreaking and deeply moving. It is also beautifully written.

I am really, really sorry for your loss. I think I would have very much liked to have known Nadine.

Also, I am exceedingly convinced that every one deserves a gay uncle Mike. I still miss mine.

Posted on May 8, 2014 at 4:59 pm 2

On It Was Really Lovely Meeting You

It has been many moons, but lo, the one-night stand of the traveling variety? Yeah, those are some of the most intense and deeply marrow-churning encounters I have ever had.

I don't think I will be able to wipe the sly smile off my face for the rest of the day. Thanks for that - this piece is terrific.

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 4:16 pm 0

On Wuthering Tarts: Baking with Emily Brontë

Just here to celebrate the fact that your last name is Pan and this is a bread-like recipe.

APTRONYMS FOR EVERYONE.

Posted on March 20, 2014 at 6:09 pm 2

On Ask a Clean Person About Her New Book: A Conversation With Jolie Kerr

Mudita. That is the opposite of schadenfreude, and when I think of Jolie/AACP, I am filled with mudita.

Pure, clean, gardenia-scented mudita. Next to a freshly and tightly made bed. That kind of mudita.

Posted on February 24, 2014 at 4:07 pm 0

On Surprise! We're All Going to the Super Bowl With This Dude and His Mom

@Brunhilde: I have never seen the city like this. Nothing really close, actually. I want this win for Seattle so, so much.

I was worried - deeply worried - about the possibility of in-city mayhem, had we lost the 49ers game. I didn't think Seattle could take the disappointment at getting so close to the big dance but ultimately being left on the sidelines. And we came very, very close to getting left on the sideline.

Seattle folks don't expect to win. I am not being glib - we just have no experience with it. We are a city that is just honored to be nominated.

I have no idea what this city would look like if it won a championship.

Posted on January 30, 2014 at 2:26 pm 1

On The Best Time I Learned My Last Name Means Blow Job

@klemay: I wish you knew how loud I laughed at this. Ugly, snorty laughter, which gave way to uncontrollable giggling.

My story is one of my BFFs, whose last name is Moore. She married one of the greatest guys I know, whose last name is Weener. She kept her last name, but hyphenates defiantly when it suits her. I was the maid of honor at the Moore-Weener wedding.

They have three sons, by the way.

And Kate? This is my favorite piece of 2014. I know its early, but it is the reigning champ.

Posted on January 16, 2014 at 3:14 pm 1

On What I've Learned From My Side Job Critiquing Dick Pics

I didn't realize until this posting that I have zero skills in the dick pic assessment field. I have strong and well researched opinions about sex, but I've got nothing when it comes to evaluating the cock apart from the man.

I went to your site and laughed really hard, and also giggled like a 14 year old girl. This Navy pic will have me chuckling for days.

You are doing the Lord's work, Madeleine.

Posted on January 8, 2014 at 3:16 pm 0

On Kevin Bacon-ing With Connie Britton

I am astonished that anyone could write a piece on Connie Britton without using the word "grace."

She embodies grace, which I like to think of as "confident humility."

Posted on February 13, 2013 at 12:50 pm 5

On Company Eggs, the Very Best Pork Tenderloin Marinade, and Mash

I am off the white potatoes for a bit, but I do have a suggestion regarding the mash.

First, before you do anything, cut off the top of a head of garlic, drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with kosher salt. Wrap that in foil and put it in the oven at about 375.

Cut up/peel and steam the cauliflower/parsnip/carrots/regular potatoes, rather than boiling them. I think they lose a lot of their nutrients and flavor when boiled, but don't hold me to that. Just cut them up all small-like and steam for about 10-15 minutes.

Then drain well and scatter on a nonstick cookie sheet, and put it in the oven (where your garlic is nearly roasted) for like 5-10 minutes. This isn't for cooking, but rather for drying.

When they are dry, put them in a food processor (or in a warmish stovetop pot and use a hand blender). Add some generous pinches of kosher salt, lots of cracked black pepper, a half stick of butter, a glug or two of heavy cream OR coconut cream (my preference), and at least a half dozen of garlic cloves from your now roasted head of garlic (assuming it has been in the oven for about 45 minutes). Give it a zest of nutmeg if you are feeling fancy.

Perfect mash is perfect.

Posted on February 8, 2013 at 2:22 pm 3

On Wheating, for a Girl Like You

For the past 10 days or so, I have been eating (mostly) paleo. This is sort of an experiment, motivated (mostly) by curiosity. I haven't read any paleo books, am not on board with the whole philosophy behind it - I just felt like shaking things up.

So far, food-wise, it isn't that big of a deal. I have turned into a voracious label reader, which is weird, because I am now a different kind of label reader. I used to zero in on the nutritional data chart, but now I am strictly a reader of ingredients.

In terms of effects, it is still pretty early. Here is one thing, though, that I didn't expect: holy Christ, am I achy. I feel like I am trudging through mud all day, and I continually feel as though I worked out like a maniac the night before. Google tells me this is a common side effect from coming off the sugar/gluten/processed stuff. I would have never characterized myself as someone who ate a lot of sugar/gluten/processed stuff, so this is a little specious. But there is no denying that I am achy. Bones, muscles, head (aches).

The upside is that I feel nourished. Even after a big meal, I feel full, but not bloated or uncomfortable. And I have discovered a shit ton of things to cook that I would never have put in my grocery basket.

So yeah. I am gluten-ambivalent at this point.

Posted on February 5, 2013 at 6:44 pm 0