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On What Makes Us Feel Better When We're Sad?

I like long walks and bike rides, but my favorite is burying myself in an elaborate recipe with a ton of steps, something like a pie or a fancy complicated salad that requires chopping and toasting and the use of special tools. There's something so soothing about following a long sequence of steps whose finished product is something delicious to eat. The only problem, especially when the cause of my funk is loneliness, is that by the time I've puttered myself out of my funk I've got a big pot or bowl or dish of yummy food and no one to help me eat it. I try to give things away, but it's harder than you'd think. The coping mechanism is preparing the recipe, but sometimes that turns into binge-eating just to avoid wasting food.

Posted on November 21, 2014 at 2:49 pm 0

On The 4/20 Cookbook

Corn chips, plain ones (no cheese or onion powders), dipped in maple syrup. Trust me.

Posted on April 18, 2014 at 6:59 pm 2

On Ask a Glutton: I'm Through With Eggs

@H.E. Ladypants Also, the way nobody is allowed to sing anymore. Music is strictly for the professionals.

Posted on November 9, 2013 at 12:04 pm 1

On Ask a Glutton: I'm Through With Eggs

@apples and oranges Dinner for breakfast! Or there's my current favorite: quinoa cooked with a veg bouillon cube (shut up, it could be Lucky Charms), shredded carrots and lots of black pepper. Although I am grateful for breakfast time, because when else would I eat grapefruit? No other time of day really lends itself to carving little bits out of a big citrus shell and then juicing the whole thing.

Posted on November 9, 2013 at 11:58 am 0

On What's the Best Song to Have Sex To?

Theresa's Sound World by Sonic Youth. I'm sorry, but that's the sound of sitting on a geyser.

For a completely different sexytime experience, Hotel Room by Richard Hawley is also very nice.

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 7:00 pm 0

On Nice to Meet You, Internet

I like urban planning and pitbulls and prefer salty foods to sweet ones. I don't love or hate yoga, makeup, or fashion, they're just a fact of life to me. I may not actually be a lady at all.

Posted on August 15, 2013 at 2:07 pm 4

On A Real Argument for Doing That Thing Where You Rub the Chopsticks for No Real Reason

@Julie the T "Splinter-free fingers" would probably be more accurate. I don't know if I've ever actually gotten a splinter from a chopstick, but just worrying about it is enough to get in the way of the food for some of us.

Posted on August 13, 2013 at 10:15 am 0

On A Real Argument for Doing That Thing Where You Rub the Chopsticks for No Real Reason

@Julie the T I know that rule, but if they are cheap...? Sorry, splinter-free mouth wins.

Posted on August 13, 2013 at 8:56 am 0

On Q: Why Does This Grape Tastes Like Cotton Candy? A: Because It Was Genetically Engineered to Taste Like Cotton Candy

Is this what happened to Bosc pears? A few years ago I noticed that they all stopped tasting like pears and took a perfumey cotton-candy flavor. I thought they were breeding for disease resistance and ended up in an unfortunate back alley of genetics. And that's when I stopped eating Bosc pears.

Posted on August 7, 2013 at 10:32 am 0

On A Guide to Eating Very Particular Feelings

I had #2 except that the contempt was for the way she decorated his house in super-loud colors (she painted his bedroom, previously chocolate-brown, a sickly shade of lime), and I never got much past contempt, followed by relief and indifference. The drink for that was kombucha, all the different flavors.

Posted on June 12, 2013 at 5:15 pm 1