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On The 4/20 Cookbook

Corn chips, plain ones (no cheese or onion powders), dipped in maple syrup. Trust me.

Posted on April 18, 2014 at 6:59 pm 2

On Ask a Glutton: I'm Through With Eggs

@H.E. Ladypants Also, the way nobody is allowed to sing anymore. Music is strictly for the professionals.

Posted on November 9, 2013 at 12:04 pm 1

On Ask a Glutton: I'm Through With Eggs

@apples and oranges Dinner for breakfast! Or there's my current favorite: quinoa cooked with a veg bouillon cube (shut up, it could be Lucky Charms), shredded carrots and lots of black pepper. Although I am grateful for breakfast time, because when else would I eat grapefruit? No other time of day really lends itself to carving little bits out of a big citrus shell and then juicing the whole thing.

Posted on November 9, 2013 at 11:58 am 0

On What's the Best Song to Have Sex To?

Theresa's Sound World by Sonic Youth. I'm sorry, but that's the sound of sitting on a geyser.

For a completely different sexytime experience, Hotel Room by Richard Hawley is also very nice.

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 7:00 pm 0

On Nice to Meet You, Internet

I like urban planning and pitbulls and prefer salty foods to sweet ones. I don't love or hate yoga, makeup, or fashion, they're just a fact of life to me. I may not actually be a lady at all.

Posted on August 15, 2013 at 2:07 pm 4

On A Real Argument for Doing That Thing Where You Rub the Chopsticks for No Real Reason

@Julie the T "Splinter-free fingers" would probably be more accurate. I don't know if I've ever actually gotten a splinter from a chopstick, but just worrying about it is enough to get in the way of the food for some of us.

Posted on August 13, 2013 at 10:15 am 0

On A Real Argument for Doing That Thing Where You Rub the Chopsticks for No Real Reason

@Julie the T I know that rule, but if they are cheap...? Sorry, splinter-free mouth wins.

Posted on August 13, 2013 at 8:56 am 0

On Q: Why Does This Grape Tastes Like Cotton Candy? A: Because It Was Genetically Engineered to Taste Like Cotton Candy

Is this what happened to Bosc pears? A few years ago I noticed that they all stopped tasting like pears and took a perfumey cotton-candy flavor. I thought they were breeding for disease resistance and ended up in an unfortunate back alley of genetics. And that's when I stopped eating Bosc pears.

Posted on August 7, 2013 at 10:32 am 0

On A Guide to Eating Very Particular Feelings

I had #2 except that the contempt was for the way she decorated his house in super-loud colors (she painted his bedroom, previously chocolate-brown, a sickly shade of lime), and I never got much past contempt, followed by relief and indifference. The drink for that was kombucha, all the different flavors.

Posted on June 12, 2013 at 5:15 pm 1

On The Over It Pie

80% Lost all respect when I learned the object of your unrequited crush
20% Can no longer pretend to care about your obsession with Hollywood.

Posted on May 30, 2013 at 3:27 pm 4