On The [Horrifying] Perfect MicroWorkout

@themlemons Yeah, I do basically this circuit for an hour at my boot camp (all of these exercises, pretty much exactly! except we alternate upper body/lower body days), so I'm absurdly pleased that apparently we're at the highest level of exercise science.

I LOVE my boot camp, and this is coming from someone who hated organized physical activity from the age of 6 and had never done strength training before at all. I couldn't keep up with everything when I started, but I didn't care because everyone is obviously so caught up not dying themselves that no one is looking at you, they're just trying to keep up on their own. And no, there's no shaming/yelling at people who are trying. (Unless they're late. Then there is definitely shaming.)

My class has lots of people in pretty varying stages of fitness, ages, body types, etc (it's actually one of the more diverse things I participate in, and I'm on the weaker end, btw, despite being one of the youngest), and I think does an awesome job of challenging everyone no matter their fitness level.

Posted on May 9, 2013 at 11:12 am 3

On A Chat With The Hairpin's New Editor, Emma Carmichael

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I guess this is a scolding, but: the editors of this site don't owe us anything, and it's weird to talk about being "gaslit" like this is a two-way relationship. Frankly, it's not.

Hard truth (this is coming from the online journalism world, not the blogging world, so it's a little different, but still): the 'Pin community is probably more important to those who are interacting down here every day than it is to the editors and contributors who do an enormous amount of work on the site.

Many writers don't even *read* the comments on their stories. I'm certain Edith & co. do (Edith liked one of my comments once!), and I love that Jolie is hanging out in the comments even though she's contributing elsewhere, and I think both of those things speak to the fact that the Hairpin commentariat is not your normal Internet commentariat. But even, say, Ta-Nehisi Coates at the Atlantic, who uses his blog as a space to interact with and learn from comments more than almost anyone else on the Internet, has moderators now -- and he posts way less frequently than the 'Pin does.

So while I'm sure they're proud of the community that they've built here, I don't think they should feel any responsibility to let the commenters dictate what they do. Keep in mind, also, that there are what -- 150 vocal regular commenters? Maybe? That's... maybe one tenth of one percent of the daily visitors.

Ugh I don't even know what I'm really saying here. I don't want to dismiss people's concerns (the Hairpin ebbs and flows with me as to how much I'm interested in) but I also remember when people were complaining about How to Be a Girl and about how many advice columns there were, so I guess I'm really skeptical of the content hive-mind, and as a writer I sort of sympathize with everyone who's left because changing jobs is just what happens all the time when you're a 20something or 30something Internet Person and it must be weird to feel like you're accountable to hundreds of people who are, for you, total strangers, you know? Sorry. I'm not trying to be a jerk.

Edith, huge congratulations on what you've built here. What you've done is really incredible and you're honestly a professional hero of mine. I'm really interested in what Jane is going to do next, and I'm so happy that Jolie, Nicole, etc, are doing big things out their on their own!

And welcome, Emma, you're younger than me and super successful and that's scary! Congratulations.

Posted on May 8, 2013 at 5:18 pm 8

On Friends' Relationships, Sex, and the Ones Who Get Halfway Away

@di Oh geez yes if she's talking to the ex on OKCupid that is BAD GET OUT GET OUT STOP YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PATIENT AS A FRIEND.

I had not thought of that interpretation for the pronouns!

Posted on April 12, 2013 at 3:10 pm 1

On Friends' Relationships, Sex, and the Ones Who Get Halfway Away

@SusieQTPi Congratulations, how wonderful.

No, I actually do get where you're coming from on this. I have one friend in particular who will end up entangled with terrible people and then surprised that they're terrible.

What I've learned from her: Not everyone spots red flags early. Not everyone is intrigued by the same things. Just because something is de facto casual doesn't mean emotions can't get involved. People are messy and unpredictable.

Also, finding great love and companionship requires luck as well as skill and patience. It's poker, not chess.

Posted on April 12, 2013 at 2:41 pm 15

On Friends' Relationships, Sex, and the Ones Who Get Halfway Away

@di Really? I don't think any of her behavior raises a red flag. The thing about OKCupid dating, particularly, is that you're interacting with total strangers and the only thing you have to go on is what they're writing to you! I think it's pretty easy to get overanalyze-y about it when those are the only tea leaves you have to read.

That doesn't mean it's the best thing to do, necessarily -- I think dating in general is almost always bad for your mental health, unless you're the kind of person who both just LOVES to meet new people and doesn't care much what others think about you, which isn't to say that dating isn't worthwhile anyway -- but I think it's definitely 100% normal. It is totally irritating to be on the other end of it, but I don't think she needs to worry about it as a friend.

(This very site has a whole feature on it! Miss u "reading between the texts.")

Posted on April 12, 2013 at 2:30 pm 7

On Image Serving No Purpose Other Than to Let Us Stare at That Sweet Face All Day

Horse, I am romantically worn out. I just found out my ex-boyfriend I'll never be totally over and I will both be at a wedding (and together with a smaller group for wedding-related activities all weekend) in September, which was expected and I think will be OK, but still is something I will be mentally prepping myself for for months.

And I finally dipped my toe into the dating/hooking up pool and I want to climb back out of it. Some bad first dates, some promising first dates that turned into meh second dates, and finding out that a friend I thought was interested in me -- we'd hooked up once and agreed it shouldn't become a regular thing, but continued to talk all the time -- isn't for reasons that make anything happening in the future extremely remote.

I have decided to throw myself into my work for a couple of weeks and deactivate my OKCupid profile, because I swore I would only do online dating if it felt like it was fun, not if I felt desperate or like it was making things worse.

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 2:40 pm 0

On Today I Will Go To Chipotle for Lunch

I love Chipotle but have found I'm not in the mood for it as much lately as I used to be -- it's started to just taste like salt to me sometimes. But the Chipotle company opened one restaurant in DC called ShopHouse that's supposed to be the "southeast Asian Chipotle" and I think it is GREAT. The portions are smaller, but it feels healthier (more actual veggies), there are some SPICY options, and -- at least for me -- they've mastered the Chipotle Essence, which is: when you are hungry for Chipotle, you are hungry for CHIPOTLE. Not for a burrito, or for black beans and rice and guac, but for the whole Chipotleness of it all, and there are no substitutes, even better substitutes.

I hope they expand or at least put more seating in their one location because I can never sit down and it drives me crazy.

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 2:31 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

Posted on April 5, 2013 at 4:58 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

OKCupid updates? I had a really promising first date! Was asked out on a second date! We'll see where this goes.

Also am hanging out this weekend with friend/crush I hooked up with recently, who said that he wasn't interested in being involved with someone and then has continued to indicate extreme interest in me. But I'm letting words speak louder than actions on that one. I like him a lot, but don't want to wait around for someone to get his shit together.

Posted on March 29, 2013 at 4:26 pm 3

On 'Pin Picks: Baker's Dozen, or Lucky Number 13

@chrysopoeia I haven't read BTBF yet (it's on my list!), so I can't speak to specific examples you found in the book. But as a journalist, I want to push back a little on this: "She describes feelings and inner monologues that would have been completely beyond her ability to discover via interview" -- what makes you say that? It's very common to ask people what they were thinking at an exact moment and use that to reconstruct a narrative. See anything by the (wonderful) Lane DeGregory, for example. http://www.tampabay.com/features/humaninterest/finding-her-past-20-years-after-parents-died-of-aids/1267156

Posted on March 29, 2013 at 2:09 pm 0