aw this is really pretty
I was very honest about how emotionally unstable and quarrelsome I am and got Massachusetts! Maybe I need to be among the temperamental and anxious.
This is the best thing I have ever read.
@Madeline Shoes Benetint is so good! I just bought a full bottle and lost it and my heart aches so much. It works well and looks cute & natural though.
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll omg thank you
@adorable-eggplant Aghhhhh I know, it's SO MESSED UP. The whole sonnet-writing grand romantic gesture thing really got me. And he makes it seem like it's so unique! Like I'll never find anyone else to make me feel this way. Today he said "I love you tons; you know I do; I'm the only one; That's why you need me." which I can recognize as psycho talk while at the same time being like 'awww well maybe he's right!'
THE WORST is right and sometimes I just really want to tell her, like just forward her one of these emails, but I know that is bad and just getting more involved when I should be flying free like a free bird and not thinking about him. It's like I can't hate him. I just keep remembering how happy I was and the way he acts now just seems like a blip. Like if I can just get him to remember how to not be horrible everything will be fine. I can't just steel my mind and be like THIS GUY SUCKS i'm now going to GET MY LIFE TOGETHER
I'm not usually so into caps lock. This is a new thing
I have tried the changing the saved number to a mean thing and that didn't work. I deleted the number and then just type it in when I have an irresistible impulse because I do have it memorized. But I do think the extra typing helps because it gives me extra time to think? I just have to remember to delete the number from recent calls so I can't just click on that. So your advice is sound -- it is just really up to me, and I haven't been good with self-control lately.
Thank you so much for your kindness!!!! Honestly it is so nice to hear people say mean things about him because in my city, he is like the most popular man and everyone loves him. He's locally famous for his music. I just want people to side with meeee and it really shouldn't matter that much but it drives me insane! He is 7.5 years older than me and yet hangs out with my friend group and no one thinks it's weird. So I appreciate the solidarity!!! You guys are so nice omg I can do this
@cabber Oh no, not at all! It is so helpful. Because it IS bullshit. It has to be. I think maybe I watched too many teen dramas and read too many dramatic historical romance novels because the epic love thing is just giving me headaches from crying too hard and getting super angry. And it's because he's my first boyfriend. And it is so hard to realize that your first love is a narcissist who maybe does not mean what he says???
I have been dating. And I'm just worried that the whole epic-love thing has spoiled me forever. But this feeling? The whole wow my face is stiff from salt water, looking dully at my coworkers while blowing my nose into a napkin thing? Love shouldn't have to feel like this, right?? I believe you guys when you say that! I just have to act like I believe it and then maybe everything will be okay.
I can't stop raving about how wonderful hairpin commenters are on facebook chat. you are all so insightful and kind and warm and the way it is combating my crazy misery brain is just very helpful. <3 <3
@bessmarvin Also my apologies for always oversharing all over thehairpin's comment section!
@bessmarvin just got a "I have such passionate feelings for you, nothing could measure up" text. Is this him just trying to make sure I am still 'locked in' in case things don't work out with her?
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll I went to a cat show two weekends ago and it was a very good decision. The calicos with the smushed faces!!!! I love cats that look super snobby.