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On Would You Ever Buy a Pair of "Anti-Rape Underwear"?

@j-i-a man but this is not raging for fun or just by reflex though. this is pretty foul I think.

Chastity belts are right square in the same cultural dreamspace as dentata fantasias (see the Snow Crash reference above). they are not a rape prevention tool, they are a sex fantasy and I am not too polite to say so when it is this bleeding obvious. I think sometimes reserving judgment is a bad idea.

Posted on November 4, 2013 at 11:57 am 0

On Would You Ever Buy a Pair of "Anti-Rape Underwear"?

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Well, this is a much better money-making scam since I assume the needle condom thingum was mean to be a one-shot purchase, whereas you have to wear a new pair of underwear every day and hey, don't you want to not-get-raped-by-strangers every day you leave your house, ladies? So I mean, the hope would be that the customer base would be credulous to the tune of seven to ten sales per person, depending on laundry frequency.

Posted on November 4, 2013 at 11:45 am 1

On Would You Ever Buy a Pair of "Anti-Rape Underwear"?

Oh, really? Wait, let me say that more passive-aggressively: Oh. Really?

1. They don't work, because if they did, you wouldn't be able to take them off to go to the bathroom or have consensual sex or, you know, ever.

2. They don't work because even if they are made of magic so that only the wearer can remove them, a man who is able to threaten you with rape is perfectly capable of threatening you with other types of violence if you don't take them off.

3. They worse than don't work because anyone who buys them, wears them and is attacked is set up for a repeat of the notorious rape case where the judge said nobody can take tight jeans off a lady without her cooperation, so she must be a liar.

4. They don't work because if you wear them and take them off voluntarily and then somebody rapes you, see number 3, and also it's pretty obvious I would think

5. FUCKING REALLY, HAIRPIN?

Posted on November 4, 2013 at 11:35 am 5

On Neko Case's Tiny Desk Concert

I just want to let you all know that at her Halloween show in DC, Neko was not dressed as a gorilla; she was dressed as Adam Ant -- if anybody thinks I'm dressed as a pirate, she said, "you're a goddamned fool! I'm Adam Ant circa 1982!"

Posted on November 1, 2013 at 2:45 pm 2

On "The Logic of Stupid Poor People," Or, the Only Thing Worth Reading About the Barneys "Shopping While Black" Arrests

@j-i-a Plus! Also! I read a bunch of responses to this elsewhere where people were basically sneering at the poor who didn't even understand what the "proper" status markers were that they ought to be buying -- like, a real rich person looks at someone with a poverty wardrobe plus one expensive accessory, and is not fooled, so ha, joke's on you, poors. I don't know how anyone says such things and does not then have a moment of epiphany and then go off to set a Barney's on fire.

& but when it's a pure status purchase, I have all sympathy for overshooting the mark. it's like the comment above about how it would be more sensible to overreach just a little bit and buy a Banana Republic bag. Yeah, it would, and it might even do a better job at obtaining the effect you're after, but how soul-flattening is it to consciously aspire to belong to the class of people who shop at Banana Republic?

Posted on October 30, 2013 at 1:00 pm 13

On "The Logic of Stupid Poor People," Or, the Only Thing Worth Reading About the Barneys "Shopping While Black" Arrests

Having to make the status argument, although it makes perfect sense, is strange to me -- strange that it should be a necessary defense against this attack -- because I've always heard poor people criticized for their/our stupidity in not buying high-quality luxury personal goods. You know -- it's so so dumb to buy a $30 pair of pleather boots from payless/Goodwill that won't last a season when you should be smart and buy a $400 pair made out of real leather that's resoleable and a cobbler can keep going for you for the rest of your natural life, because that would be cheaper in the long run. And then you have to patiently explain that you are not dumb and you do actually know that nice things are nicer than not-nice things, and the reason you buy the shitty personal good is not because you have no impulse control or taste or sense of wastefulness, but because you don't have $400 goddamn dollars and you do need something to put on your feet right now, today.

and likewise, a super fancy belt or bag from a high-end manufacturer is exactly the kind of "investment piece" that I thought we were all supposed to be scraping and saving for instead of buying the disposable garbage that is all many of us can afford. I thought that was an example of the counterintuitive thriftiness of the deserving rich, that they had the cleverness to throw money at accessories because Quality Lasts. I mean, not that poor people would do this simply because rich people do it, but that rich people do it because it is actually a worthwhile thing to do, when you can.

& even though I am not poor these days in the sense that serious people mean it, I have similar spending habits for similar reasons, and I absolutely would drop a thousand dollars on a single bag or pair of boots, if I ever had a thousand dollars handy, because that's a smart fucking thing to do.

Posted on October 30, 2013 at 12:20 pm 8

On When Friends Have Babies

@MrsTeacherFace It's a description of her perceptions and opinions about an experience that at the time of writing was not yet hers, any more than it is mine.

"The next, the “stuff” of Megan and the “stuff” of me was alchemically different."

-- this is not, as I read and understood it, a report of how this other woman experienced and described her motherhood; it's an assertion straight from the author about what motherhood means on a fundamental level.

Posted on October 23, 2013 at 3:22 pm 4

On When Friends Have Babies

@queenofbithynia And actually I would say that "I'm not writing enough" is THE worry and complaint of the mother of young children. At least, of mothers of young children who have any ambitions in that regard. It's not a trivial or a light worry.

Posted on October 23, 2013 at 3:14 pm 4

On When Friends Have Babies

I’m traveling too much. I’m not writing enough. I can’t figure out where I want to live. They were all luxurious worries, the kinds of things only childless people had time or energy to grind on.

This is obviously, patently untrue, so much so that it feels demeaning to even say so.

As my mother gets daily closer to the inevitable decline and death that awaits us all, I have stopped being so knee-jerkedly offended by this kind of thing for myself as an unchilded person and begun being more and more offended for her as a human person who has now, and never lacked, an essential human self. Selflessness, my christ. That is an insult that I (even I!) will never offer anyone. Mothers do hard work that is boring to many and are kept very physically busy and mentally occupied by it for a period of some years. They are not separate creatures outside the world of lowly human fellowship and they do not make a devil's bargain to stop striving and wanting and thinking with their selves in order that their children may one day do these things.

and you might say, this is about your friend and your own future, nothing to do with my lousy mother who I don't even like very well. But anything about Motherhood is about my mother. I suppose I am feeling the defensiveness towards her that women are only allowed by society and convention to feel for their children, isn't that funny? But this is the worst kind of attack because I don't think it even understands itself to be one.

Posted on October 23, 2013 at 2:53 pm 14

On Ask a Dietitian: Wine Time, Fruit Soup, Our Forbidden Lover (Diet Coke)

@sidral mundet I think what is up is that women are not all the same size! Just because there are size/metabolic/body comp/whatever differences between men and women as classes (and I understand that there are) does not mean there are not also huge differences within those classes and if the RDA of wine is calibrated based on a 150-pound 5'4'' woman, or whatever the average is, it won't apply to you. I mean there are women who differ in height by well over a foot, there are women who differ in weight from one another by several hundred pounds.

I know I used to be able to put away a bottle over a whole evening and now I get almost unpleasantly drunk on half that, and sure I am 10 years older and not in grad school anymore, but primarily it is because I have only like two thirds of the mass I had in my drinkiest days. it was an immediate and terrible effect of the process and I regret it to this day. talk about unbearable lightness.

Posted on October 22, 2013 at 1:24 pm 0