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Loneliness, Mistakes, and the Inner Questionnaire

1. You know what's a mess? I mean, it's a good mess to have, I guess, but when you start dating someone, and it's okay, and then a few dates later you know it's not great, but it's also fine. What then? Especially if you have like three of these things going on at once. Because partially you wonder if maybe it'll get better or more interesting as it goes along, but you also know you're kidding yourself. Probably. But then it seems like a big hassle to break things off honestly ("no it's actually fine, I do basically like you? I don't know, just not that much, although maybe I would eventually. But I guess I don't want to stick around and find out"). So everything festers. READ MORE

Hair and Morality

1. This is ridiculous but I can't stop thinking about it, and I apologize in advance if I sound like a jerk. Or, I guess tell me if I'm a jerk. There's this guy I know who is sort of on that threshold of friend/romantic whatever, but I can't stand his hairstyle. He's very middle-of-the-road otherwise, style-wise, but this hairstyle. It's not even that crazy, I just really hate it, and he's always adjusting it. He likes it. He's a good looking dude, too. If a guy asked me to change my hairstyle, I'd be like "screw you!" but then I'd freak out privately and probably change my hairstyle. :-/ And resent him. But anyway I know you can't ask someone you're not in a serious relationship with to change their hair, but I feel stuck, and like I would be more attracted to him if his hair were different? I can't even believe l'm typing these words. Am I just using the hair as a reason for why I don't like him as much as I wish I did? READ MORE

Drunk Pics, Hot Sisters, and Long-Distance Dumping

1. Here's my situation. I'm a successful, attractive 30-year-old woman who has recently (like just signed papers recently) gotten out of a painful albeit short marriage (together three years, married for one and a half). My marriage was neglectful for some time, and it took therapy and a lot of work to realize the problem wasn't me, and I feel like I have been handling things pretty well. READ MORE

Loaner Shirts, Neon Books, and the Meanings of Sleazy

1. When you're sleeping over at a guy’s place (someone you don’t know well, for the first time, not someone you’re dating), and he offers me a t-shirt to sleep in, is it because he wants me to wear the t-shirt or is it just politeness? I don’t get it, because one would think it would be preferred for me to be naked. READ MORE

Never-Complainers, Workaholics, and the Balding-and-Manly

1. I have a problem that might not be a problem. READ MORE

New Friends, Surprise Babies, and the "Rare Phenomenon"

1. I’ve been good friends with this dude for five years. I don’t want to be overly maternal or meddling, except: about five weeks ago, he was feeling mopey and went to a strip club after he got off work. He "struck up" a conversation with a young lady who was working there, and they discovered that they have a "lot in common!" Here is the sum of information he’s given me about her: READ MORE

Semi-Secret Affairs, Smanging, and the 88 Percent

Long story short, I finally grew a spine and broke up with my fiancé because he only added stress to my life, never gave any time to our relationship, etc. I moved out of our apartment, got drunk one night, and ended up hooking up with my boss. This situation seems to be turning into a very fulfilling relationship, except for one thing: I can't tell anyone about it, and this makes me wonder how serious it is. READ MORE

Lies, Kissing Biblically, and Translucent Officewear

So, I’ve been dating an AMAZING guy for the past seven months. He is loving and sweet and we’ve recently started talking like we have a long-term future together, which is exciting! I just have one concern that I think maybe is a big deal but maybe it’s only a big deal in my mind? Which is where you come in. READ MORE

Sixth Senses, Approachability, and the Penniless Nomad Actors

My fiancee just returned from a three-week tour. He's a musician and his band was on tour opening for a national act. We've been together for about two-and-a-half years, known each other for five. I'm also six months pregnant. He called me pretty much every day or night to check in and never went MIA. He's never cheated on me in the past (that I know of), but I just have this feeling in my gut he did this time. I don't know what it is, but I just can't shake the feeling he did. It's like a pregnant sixth sense is screaming at me 'he's a cheater!' and I can't shut it up. Our sex life hasn't exactly been the hottest thing since I've gotten further along, but it's not like he's in a sex Sahara. The thing that really makes struggle to believe him is that he told me the rest of the guys in his band all cheated on their wives. While I'm not totally shocked, I was surprised they ALL did but him. Doesn't the law of averages or something apply there? Like, I'm supposed to believe they all did but YOU didn't? And why would he tell me that? To throw me off? Wow, I sound (and feel) crazy, but please dude, help me out because I would love to believe him and move on. READ MORE

Treating and Sitting and Smoking and Talking

There's no good way for me to say this without sounding like a bitch, so here: I want my boyfriend to pay for things. That's right, I said it. Our relationship is fairly new and things are going really well, but he keeps inviting me to dinner / lunch / drinks / coffee / whatever, picks me up and we go eat together and then he doesn't pay for me; just says "separate checks" and moves on. The first couple dates we went on, he paid. READ MORE