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On When to Tell Someone They Might Be Gross

I think that in this situation, all you can really do is plant a seed.
I have a friend who I've known for years, super smart and funny, interesting and cool guy, and totally cute, but, like so many dudes, he was really psychologically attached to his long hair. It meant SO much to him, like some rebellion thing I could never understand (he grew up in the eighties, not the damn sixties), and it looked...just awful. Stringy and greazy and, like, chin length and just all around bad. It was the one glaring thing keeping him from attracting women, and I just straight up told him that, every time he complained to me about being single. It may seem shallow, but attraction is important and under all that bad-idea hair he is a SUPER cute guy. It'd be such an easy fix! He would agree but never actually do it.
But recently, out of nowhere, he did cut it. Aaaaaaand he's got a girlfriend now. He called me the other week and said he can't believe he'd waited so long to just fucking get a haircut.

Posted on April 23, 2013 at 4:41 pm 17

On Beauty Q&A: If You See Something, Say Something

@Anne Helen Petersen Uh okeydokey, I was just trying to offer a alternative that worked for me, and that enabled me to actually wear Fryes despite my calves being too big for their tall boots. Also I've found that shorter boots show off the curve of your calf, and are actually much more flattering for my legs. Plus, shorter boots are "in" this season (whatever), which makes them much easier to shop for.

Posted on December 7, 2012 at 5:35 pm 0

On Beauty Q&A: If You See Something, Say Something

@Anne Helen Petersen Ok forgive me if this is just a horribly, insultingly "duh" thing to say, but have you considered shorter boots? I have huge calves (18 inches), and every winter prior to this one I went through hella cheap and crappy pairs of Lane Bryant wide-calf boots, because I figured those were my only options (besides Duo boots for like $450). Until one day my friend was just like "Dude, who told you that boots HAVE to be that tall?" And it was like...holy shit, DUH! I went right out and got myself a pair of Frye Veronica Shorties and oh my god I LOVE THEM. The break in period was a bitch, but now that it's over they feel like slippers and I never want to wear any other shoes. And my calves don't even enter into the equation! They're not, like, ankle boots - they "read" as tall boots, they look great with all of my clothes just like tall boots would, they're just a bit shorter. Anyway, I know it seems obvious, and it probably would be to most folks, but it wasn't to me and BOY did it change my winter footwear life.

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:27 pm 1

On Ask a Clean Person: What's Cookin'? Oh. Ew.

@antipretty I pull my oven's burner coils out once a week for cleaning, and plug them back in when I'm done. I've never once been zapped and I've been doing this my whole adult life. So my advice is: you're safe.
And yeah, sometimes you will accidentally plug one of them back in wonky (since you can't actually see the "outlet" you're aiming for), and the burner won't work. Just pull the coil back out, square the plug with the opening, and try again. Repeat until it works.

Posted on October 28, 2012 at 1:49 am 0

On Estate Jewelry: (Partial) Maritime Edition

I'm not sure if I've ever wanted a thing as much as I want that whale necklace.

Posted on October 10, 2012 at 10:53 pm 0

On Salon Chit-Chat

Captain No-Fun here to ruin the party by pointing out that the thing everyone's nervous about getting from pedicure thrones (which are impossible to fully sanitize between clients)isn't your run-of-the-mill toenail fungus or athlete's foot, but a bacterial infection that looks like giant weeping cigar burns all over your legs, that you could have for life. It's horrid. I worked at a couple of salons where I had to watch the same, super-graphic industry video about it and I'll never get the visuals out of my head.
So I love pedicures, but I don't do thrones, or any basin with jets. It's worth the extra cash not to worry about it.

Posted on September 27, 2012 at 11:21 pm 5

On 20 Irrational But Nonetheless Persistent Beauty Fears I’ve Picked Up From My Time as a Female Human Being

For deodorant worriers: I'm here to tell you that crystal deodorant can really work. It does for me, at least.
I'm usually the very last to hop on the hippie-natural-beauty-products wagon, but a friend of mine swore by it so I gave it a shot (because I can't stand the smells of all deodorants that smell, and the unscented ones never worked for me), and it totally keeps my pits smelling like NOTHING all day.
(it's not an antiperspirant, though.)

Posted on August 28, 2012 at 4:22 pm 0

On 20 Irrational But Nonetheless Persistent Beauty Fears I’ve Picked Up From My Time as a Female Human Being

@frigwiggin I think Ru never mentioned anything about it because she knows how hard it is to find makeup for dark skin, and it probably looked better in person than it did on TV.
It's hard to find drug or department store foundation in very dark shades, and even harder with the kind of makeup you use for drag. The ingredient in makeup that "covers" is titanium dioxide, as in 'titanium white'. Drag foundation has a LOT of this ingredient in it, in order to cover more (that's why the other queens advised Willem to wear better foundation to cover his stubble). You can add a lot of dark pigment, but the base will always be white and it will read oddly on dark skin, especially under harsh light.
I clearly did some thinking about this, over the season.

Posted on August 28, 2012 at 1:26 am 7

On Can You Hear Me Now?

@itiresias Did we both take classes at SCCC, or is that a common thing in ASL classes? I don't talk about it because it sounds like "hey I think all deaf people are jerks" which isn't the case, but I do think the way the deaf people under which I studied present their culture is unwelcoming (maybe it's supposed to be?) and off-putting, to say the least.

Posted on July 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm 0

On Kerry, What's in Your Closet?

@Uncommon Hussy: It's all about giving your brain time to adjust.

Like, let's say you never wear lipstick. If you decide to wear it one day, every time you pass a mirror you'll think "oh god I look like a clown!" and want to wipe it off immediately. Conversely, if you wear lipstick every day, the one day you go without it you look in every mirror and think "oh god, I look like a corpse!" and want to put it on IMMEDIATELY.
You don't ACTUALLY look like a clown OR a corpse - you look totally, perfectly normal to everyone else and nobody is even giving it a second thought. But your brain expects one thing when it looks in a mirror, and your eyes are giving it something else - so it's freaking out a little. Same goes for clothes, hair, everything outward. Change always FEELS so much more drastic than it is. So, just start wearing dresses! Give yourself a week for your brain to adjust, but seriously: you're already a natural.

Posted on June 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm 1