Some old dude.
Wow. The best thing I can say about this is that it wasn't terribly written.
By RK Fire on Princess Problems
@Amphora Maybe there's asian-style squat toilets and the hoops underneath the dress create a protective perimeter around the toilet to keep your dress and undergarments from getting soiled?
@Silence Carew as another woman with a disability I totally agree with you. I was pretty disturbed/put off by the total lack of Danny's voice in the story and how it positions him as an object of pity rather than a person.
@S. Elizabeth Add me to the conflicted camp. Just because something is done in love doesn't mean it's not crossing some major boundaries.
Also, the motives seem oddly self-involved - the mother wanted an answer to her question, the mother wanted grandchildren - and that is weird to me, too. But this is way out of my range of experience, and I just...don't really know how to react to this.
@Katzen-party I guess as @queenofbithynia and @Pheen said below, we can't assume that it's easy for "someone to just say no," when this is between a mom and her son with a disability and the power dynamic that that engenders.
It just seems like people think it was fine for this mom to basically hound her son into doing this until he "relented" (the word used in the article) because of her feelings about his fertility and his virginity, AND to violate his sexual privacy as you mentioned, in ways that would be clearly unacceptable if he was not disabled.
Time to write that BOOK, Edith Zimmerman!
@S. Elizabeth Also, the focus on reproduction. My disability is neuro-based too, and I get the curiosity about what is possible, and family pressure for grand kids and all. But that's your reaction when the sex worker calls to report? I am actually getting more and more unhappy the more I think about this story.
@S. Elizabeth You are not alone, those were my thoughts exactly while reading this article. I don't even get the 'motherly love' praise this article is generating. This woman waaaaay over-stepped her boundaries with her adult son. I can't imagine the deep violation he must have felt. And the fact the she got the prostitute to call and give her a "report" on what went down afterwords! Yeesh!
And the lack of any sense that buying someone's sexuality is problematic. Man.
I am not sure how I feel about this, but I am pretty sure I'm not feeling very nice about it. I think my feelings have less to do with motherly love and disability, and more to do with how deeply uncomfortable I am with the idea of hiring a human being to have sex with your son, without asking him first, and doing it because you think he needs the experience.
I found some of the reactions to this piece really unsettling, since I read the whole thing through and thought BOUNDARIES and also "Monique is a human being who doesn't exist for the sole purpose of giving other people pleasure."
@Heat Signature No, I think your first instinct was correct. Danny had no intellectual disabilities - he could have procured an escort for himself if he wanted one. Had this happened to me I would have felt so incredibly violated. The mom is way too involved here...
And! To have your whole family know about it and everyone talking about it and then writing articles ON THE INTERNET about it after your death! Such an incredible violation.