Breasts are sexualized in our culture to a large extent. I don't think that LW#2 should feel weird at all.
OOOOOH AQC, GIRL, COME SIT BY ME. The "I only date women and trans guys" thing RAGE BLINDS me. I wish cat vomit and so much worse on every single pair of their shoes. EVERY SINGLE PAIR.
I guess my real question is, how do I deal with the fact that I feel defective for NOT being bi or wanting to watch other girls bang my boyfriend or other men? [...] But what is a more constructive way to deal with this?
Constructive is as constructive does, I guess, but people who say these things and make you feel this way do so because they do not believe that women are humans with sexual identities and desires. Rather, they believe that women are organisms almost wholly composed of conditioned reflexes and maybe a rudimentary brainstem. They give you these messages and say these things to you because they notice that your reflexes are not sufficiently conditioned to their liking as you still retain some instincts towards freedom and individuality. The entire cultural edifice of sanctioned heterosexual female expression is centered around compelling women to deny what they want and hide what they like, and, worse, to declare that they themselves do not know. What does woman want? Nobody knows what women want. Woman is a mystery even to herself. When they want your opinion, they'll give it to you, as the saying is.
But you still know what it is you like, in spite of a couple thousand years of history and a douchebag abusive boyfriend, because they failed and you won.
To these people, a woman is an inferior copy of a real doll. These are garbage people. Say all this to them, it will make you feel better.
Claude Rains is actually my favorite part of Now, Voyager.
But then, when isn't Claude Rains my favorite part of a movie?
I get a bit swoony for anyone who namedrops The Master and Margarita. A movie adaptation could be spectacular, but it might end up just an unbelievable reeking pile of excrement, especially if someone got cutesy with a CGI Behemoth. Trrricky.
Den of iniquity, Jolie! InIquity!!! A den of inequity would be something completely different.
@karrrren Even I knew about Stalag 17. My dad was a WWII POW, in Stalag 12. He used to say he missed meeting William Holden by five Stalags. He also used to shake his head and walk past the living room when Hogan's Heroes was on.
@karrrren Seconded! Go watch it, because it is amazing, and Holden is amazing, and you'll never look at water towers or bare lightbulbs or chess pieces the same way again.
Man, between Roald Dahl being a total shit, one of her kids dying, one suffering brain damage, and herself having multiple aneurysms that put her in a coma and caused her to have to learn how to walk again, I'm not sure I'd put such a rosy spin on Patricia O'Neal's post-Cooper life. Not that I think it would have been a cakewalk had she stayed with Coop, it's just a sad sad story.
re: separate living:
About a year or two ago my husband and I were invited to a potluck party a friend was throwing at the really nice apartment of her aunt, for whom she was housesitting. After gushing and oohing and awing about how really spectacularly lovely and warm and perfect the apartment was, it was revealed to us that her husband resided in the apartment next door. They had had enough of each other's different living styles being a thorn in their sides and took up as neighbors. They shared meals together almost every night, and would I'm assuming have sleepovers, too, but the autonomy and personal space were protected and maintained.
I think there are ALL SORTS of reasons and ways for couples to be happier separately - different work schedules, different standards of minimum domestic order. And also, some people really love to sleep separately (not me, but I know of these people!) I love the Rilke quotation about True Love being Two Solitudes - what does it mean for two people to be solitudes? I would imagine for some, this might mean having separate homes. I think it's easy to get wrapped up into believing a relationship has to "look" a certain way - but whatever feels right for the couple, no matter how non-status-quo must be right, right?
BUT I feel like we don't have some critical pieces of information?? Like, the fact that this seems like it was sprung upon you and maybe you don't have a lot of say? Power-imbalances like that in a relationship are Not Ideal, although we don't know why your partner is advocating for this? Good Luck!