My version of a balanced dinner is kale and a martini.
OH HELL YES. That is all.
@Julie the T : It looks weirdly like that kid-with-other-peoples'-hands-on-his-head image from the "learn any language!" Web ad things that I never click on and which I cannot find now that I look for it but which invariably crops up in those "From Around the Web" webpage ad sections. Whew.
I'll just leave this here, then.
@j-i-a : It's particularly delightful because my reaction was the same as with all mass-media science gaffes : science-nerd rage followed by resignation that "nobody cares that this makes no sense, so best not to get worked up about it." So seeing this cheered me right up, because YES IT DOES MATTER THAT NOTHING ORBITS PLANETS (except moons and other natural satellites) AND OTHER REAL PEOPLE SHARE MY FEELINGS.
@Jinxie, Rock and Roll Ken Doll : At least the topic wasn't "what do you do about a ring avulsion" because the answer is OH GOD NOW THE IMAGE IS IN MY HEAD AND I WILL NEVER WEAR JEWELRY AGAIN.
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll : According to the trusty field manual,
1. DO NOT ATTEMPT to push the eyeball back in. If entirely enucleated, the eyeball will remain attached by the optic nerve.
2. Cover the eye with a moist dressing and a protective cup. DO NOT apply pressure to the eye.
3. Apply a bandage compress or roller bandage to cover BOTH eyes.
4. Evacuate the patient to a medical treatment facility.
Quoth semi-personal experience : most of the time, the eyeball has not been fully removed from the socket; rather, the eyelid has closed behind the eyeball. As long as you don't mess with it, the eyelid will often slide back into place on its own. The bandage over both eyes is basically so you relax and don't do any extra damage to your eye.
And now you know! (and knowing is half the battle, etc. etc.)
For one delicacy, you must boil a pig’s head for 5-6 hours until the flesh is melted and then mold it into a fatty cake-y paste.
Well, of course head cheese sounds disgusting when you say it like that.
And also because of its name.
But it's delicious if you don't know about, well, if you don't think too hard about, oh nevermind, I'll eat yours if you don't want it.
On Young Chinese Professionals Celebrate the Single Life by Spending a Collective $5.4 Billion in One Day
I think the message of that final photo is "if you are single, you won't have anyone around to tell you that you either need longer socks or your trousers are too short."
@Jim Behrle : Also, at Brown, they are not "pass-fail" courses, they are "satisfactory-no-credit" because "passing" and "failing" are constructs of the oppressive capitalist-normative society which pathologically quantifies all human activity into artificial zero-sum games. GET IT RIGHT, YOU LAZY DRIVELLING JERK.
Alternate take : Additionally, it's not "failing to reach orgasm", it's (insert joke here. Does "taking an incomplete" work? UGH I AM SUCH A LAZY DRIVELLER.)
Special bonus alternate take : As a Brown alum, I feel vaguely slandered by the Times.
Robert Aickman! He's a bit undeservedly obscure these days, but his compilations of short stories ("Cold Hand in Mine", particularly) are very easy to get hold of, and oh man was he good. He never really descends into outright horror, just a slow slide into wrongness, like dream-logic invading the everyday.
Neil Gaiman (!) compared his stories to a sleight-of-hand where a magician not only makes a key vanish from his hand, but you can't be sure he had a key in his hand in the first place. That's about right ... he was extraordinarily subtle and unsettling.
@stonefruit : Have you ever read Bellairs's (one?) novel for adults, "The Face in the Frost"? It's equal parts whimsy and flesh-creeping nightmare, and really excellent.