I cannot think of anything witty, pithy, or otherwise delightful to place here at the present time. Polite-smile-inducing biography to be named later.

On A Wristwatch That Alleviates the Struggle (of Long-Distance Love)

Me in Chicago and he in Australia for over two years (though the friendship began when he was still living in his home country of New Zealand). I imported him in December 2011 and we were married about a week after my 40th birthday in February 2012. I'm very glad I don't have to do the math anymore, trying to figure out time zones and whatnot. Also very glad I don't have to make that goddamned flight anymore. However, New Zealand really is one of the most beautiful places in the universe.

Posted on October 25, 2013 at 10:45 am 0

On Lionel Shriver on obesity and the surplus of attractive characters in fiction: "The solution is to get a grip and put human beauty in perspective"

I've been fat (the kind of fat that makes people strangely angry) my entire life, so I never had that dazzling moment in the sun where I got treated delightfully because I was conventionally pretty, and I don't really give a rat's ass if I'm considered beautiful or not. I simply would appreciate not being treated like shit and it'd be pleasant to be represented in movies, TV, books, etc. like a human being instead of either a) a troubled depressive eating her feelings and shielding herself from the world with her gurgling armor of FAT or b) using my flesh as an emotional weapon because I've got resentments about something from the paaaaast.

In short, Lionel Shriver, you've annoyed me today.

Posted on August 12, 2013 at 1:51 pm 6

On And I Will Call Her Candy Crush

@blueberry mary The fucking time bombs are the worst. THE WORST.

I have to admit, I have spent a fucking shameful (to me) amount of money on this game in order to clear levels. Up until venturing into the Candy Crush Saga, I had never paid for any games on Facebook. Now the horse is out of the barn and...*sigh*

Posted on July 18, 2013 at 10:18 am 0

On Welcome Home

I moved back home with my parents after having lived on my own for almost 13 years because I was brutally broke and they were having money issues, too. They're having health issues as they are old, so now there's caregiving thrown into the mix. It's such a weird mix of grateful feelings (like I got my life/credit rating back and ultimately afforded me several opportunities to travel and import my husband from New Zealand) and horrified feelings (like working fulltime and then coming home to wrangle senior citizens and worrying that my blessedly laid-back husband is going to hate me at the end of the day because he moved into the Senior Circus)...long story longer, I get where the writer's coming from in a big way.

Posted on June 21, 2013 at 1:06 pm 0

On This Wedding Season, Say Yes to Strangers: What I Learned From My Craigslist Date

I love this story so hard, and you need to write a screenplay of it IMMEDIATELY. I used to write screenplays for many years until a major tech meltdown killed my writing spirit, but this...this makes me want to scurry home and jam out 100 pages RIGHT NOW.

Posted on June 7, 2013 at 1:07 pm 4

On This Is a Goodbye Post

I'm primarily a lurker here, but awwww maaaaaan. I enjoy your writing, dammit. But also excited for the new venture and I look forward to seeing it.

Posted on May 3, 2013 at 1:27 pm 0

On Chicago: Hot or Not?

Chicago is my home and I love it. I was born here and I will die here, shitty winters and all. I've done my fair share of traveling to other cities that everyone cites as being the "Greatest whatever", but at the end of the day, this is my home and every other place pales in comparison.

Posted on April 29, 2013 at 3:27 pm 4

On Interview With a Virgin: Bette

This rang my bell in such a big way. I, too, was a "late bloomer" - I didn't have sex until I was 37 years old and I think the biggest thing that upset me in the years before it occurred was feeling like I wasn't quite a part of things, that there was this particular piece of life that I was missing out on and couldn't relate to. So when my friends would talk about sex/relationships as a bonding sort of thing, there I was...left out of it all. Or feeling left out, I suppose would be more accurate. ANYHOO. Bette, thank you for sharing your story.

Posted on April 15, 2013 at 2:13 pm 4

On Scrollus Interruptus

@Lily Rowan I still can't figure out how the Hairpin manages to have comment sections that don't constantly morph into Thunderdomes. I've been reading and mostly lurking for...jeez, probably over a year now and I can't recall ANY commentary section blowing up in an untoward fashion. People disagree, sure, but it never quite goes straight to hell like it does on other sites.

Posted on October 25, 2012 at 3:19 pm 8

On Scandals of Classic Hollywood: The Gloria Swanson Saga, Part Two

I love love love love love love these articles so much.

Posted on October 24, 2012 at 1:00 pm 3