@mllemargaret I'm an (old) dude and was one of the 5% or so who had to do Accutane TWICE. Did it in 9th grade in 1990 and it cleared my entire back and face up, but I kept having problems on my chest and neck. Course two sophomore year of college more or less solved that. I did get a touch of depression - not suicidal or anything, but definitely didn't want to get out of bed some mornings and face the day. The last straw that caused me to quit my second term about a month short was that I got a wicked nosebleed in the middle of a class, when I was sitting in the middle of a row. To avoid climbing over people and possibly bleeding on them, I sat there with my chin in my hand, bleeding down my arm for an hour. I looked like the cover of that Andrew WK album when class ended. AFter that I was done.
But man, that stuff works great when you're brace-faced, pimpled and mulletted (mulleted?) and raging with 14 year old hormones. It really did change my life.
As a fella, I also really liked reading this. My wife and I dated for 10 years before getting married and just had a kid. She came from a very strong feminist background and admitted that she viewed marriage for quite some time as an antiquated tradition. The only real frustration for me was that for about 8 of those 10 years I was harassed by female friends about why I had the audacity not to have proposed. Every time I said that it was because my wife wasn't interested, I was scoffed at.
My point being, if I actually have one, that there seems to be a really malleable definition of feminism when it comes to marriage. The women scoffing at me were highly-educated, successful women who I'd classify as very strong personalities. And yet, they were aghast at the idea that you could date that long and have a great relationship and not propose. In their opinion, there clearly was something wrong with me!
Now that we've been married for 3 years and have a baby, I would hope that my wife would say that nothing has fundamentally changed in her personality or ability. She's still strong and in control of her life, there's just a legal definition around our relationship. And most importantly, hopefully she's happy with how things have gone.
Back in my rockin' high school days, "Janie's Got a Gun," and thanks to its then-ubiquitous video you know why this didn't work so well.