On Drunk Pics, Hot Sisters, and Long-Distance Dumping

I'm glad to see I'm with the consensus on ending a long distance relationship, even with travel plans. I was in long distance relationship with plans for him to come visit. I ended it a month before, but he still insisted on visiting (and I didn't want to refuse him hospitality, not when he and his family had been so generous with me). He cut his trip a few days shorter, but it was still the most heart-breakingly awkward couple of days.

Posted on November 30, 2012 at 5:29 pm 0

On Considering Criticism, Impostor Syndrome, and Married-People Ethics

I copied this line and e-mailed it to myself before even finishing the article.

Posted on November 15, 2012 at 12:18 pm 2

On Sympathy for Liz

I'm endlessly amused by fortune tellers. Apparently my great aunt was really good with a regular deck of playing cards. Another person predicted my grandmother's 3 kids and many moves (military family).

The best one I went to (mind you, I'd tried to down a slushy, alcoholic beverage before it melted in the hot Texas sun) knew that my dog missed me, there was a guy on a motorcycle in my life (crush on a guy at work who loved his Harley) and that I was a creative person (my knuckles made little star shapes?). I wish I could remember more of what she said because I left suitably impressed.

The worst? I paid for my boyfriend and I to each have short tarot card readings. The lady basically said he was lucky in love and would have a wonderful life. She said the same thing about me, but added that I was generous (well I HAD just shelled out $20 for this). She then informed us that it was just for sample reading and if we wanted more we could seek her out at her shop. We didn't take her card.

The most entertaining: She ate Cheetos during the reading which resulted in slobbery, orange dust on my hands. She mentioned I should let an old boyfriend go, bake the new guy in my life's mother a pie. She also let me know that I was "too nice" and that if I kept this up people would use me like her kids use her... this went onto a rant about her kids.

Posted on November 14, 2012 at 12:34 am 0

On Ask a Med Student

I was traveling with a male companion and he got into the habit of urinating in the sink (there was no toilet attached to the bath/sink portion-- really strange set up). This habit carried over to when we were having cake at the Cafe Demel in Austia-- he walked out (looking a bit abashed) and explained he had almost peed in the sink. Classy fellow.

My younger brother used sink-peeing in our shared bathroom as a potent threat.

Posted on July 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm 0

On How to Talk to Your Average Four-Year-Old

@Kivrin I remember doing this as a child. I would race around naked and strike heroic poses pretending to be a superhero.

Posted on July 11, 2012 at 6:39 pm 5

On The Audrey Hepburn Makeover

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas
I've had Brooke Shields (hello eyebrows!), Anne Hathaway, Milla Jovovich, and the wife who dies in Bravheart... so I look like a brunette?

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 12:42 am 0

On Employee Discount

@beanie Ahaha, I have a friend going to a photo shoot. The theme is "pustache" I think you get where this is going...

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 12:27 am 0

On Employee Discount

@olivebee My pube flag is flying!

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 12:25 am 1

On Employee Discount

@PistolPackinMama Cheers!

I dated a fellow who was into the no-pubes thing. He tried to turn it into something romantic. It seems self-explanatory now, but I was young and inexperienced and have never experienced razor burn quite like that.

I'm lazy and have very sensitive skin, so... eh. My current fellow and I have a very relaxed attitude about body hair. Thank goodness!

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 12:23 am 0

On Ask a Clean Person: Let's All Make ... Our Beds. And Then Take a Nap.

@teffodee Well, it's my unmade bed, but... point made.
Jizzcliners for everyone?

Posted on March 30, 2012 at 7:45 pm 0