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On 18 Brides in a Year

It's disturbing to me that these ideas - ideas simply rooted in believing in individual choice, freedom, desire, and taste - are so shocking, and so refreshing. They're elegantly expressed and it's a lovely essay, so what disturbs me is that these ideas are so rarely expressed that all these like-minded folks feel the need to say "FINALLY."

I shouldn't be shocked that this essay is refreshing, and also that this essay troubles those who thrive on the capital market of selling female worth in bottles and lace bindings, especially because

1) I live on Earth, in what others perceive as a strictly female body

2) I just read that fucking entire Steve Harvey book

Posted on January 2, 2014 at 12:27 pm 0

On The Kevin McAllister Pie

I tried to tipsily flirt with a stranger at a bar the other night by quoting all John Candy's lines. "He didn't speak for six weeks! Poor kid."

Posted on December 13, 2013 at 12:27 pm 0

On The Kevin McAllister Pie

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Thank you for the necessary and hilarious distinction?!?!?!? But I please wish to imagine someone hanging out with the grizzly bears and riffin.

Posted on December 13, 2013 at 12:24 pm 0

On What Your Favorite Holiday Cocktail Says About You

Baha! Knocking it out of the park this christmas! <3

Posted on December 13, 2013 at 11:39 am 0

On Pass the Cranberry Chodes: Christmas, According to a December 1951 Copy of Woman's Day

CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. In other words this is the funniest thing I've ever read.

Posted on December 12, 2013 at 3:15 pm 0

On One Way We Wasted Our Hours This Year

Have we ever fully investigated why that certain dancing baby so enchanted a nation?

If you search "Ally Mcbeal" today, at this moment, predictive text suggests in the following three entries that you may be looking for "Ally McBeal Baby" "Ally McBeal Dancing baby" "Ally mcbeal baby dancing."

I'll not mention that the predictive text was indeed correct, in my instance.

Posted on December 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm 0

On Did We Buy Any Cool Stuff This Weekend?

I do not feel good about that website that tallied injuries and deaths that happened on November 29th.

Posted on December 3, 2013 at 12:52 pm 0

On Wednesday Open Thread

It is the day after thanksgiving, and I am making up for having semi-secretly quit my job due to a culmination of freeway anxiety attacks and dreams of self-harm by selling off all the collectible doll clothes and furniture I had as a child, and building connections to potentially become an all-but-in-name discreet prostitute.

I'm taking the GRE tomorrow, and as far as I am concerned, a Master's in Lit will solve all my problems.

I don't have a boyfriend, I have been telling people whom I love that I love them and decided to no longer be afraid of acting on sexual impulse. I'm supposed to be using my "time off" to write heavily, which has partially been successful, but December awaits. If I can't find some wacky way to snare alternative cash or employment, I'm taking out a school loan and going back to community college in January. I'll take any class available that lets me touch gears with my hands or draw a circuit.

My choices of late might seem risky, but I don't care. I may not have another opportunity in life to impulsively act for my psychological interest alone, with nobody else depending on me except for a scrappy dog. And I don't want to spend another second of my life helping old racists make money.

Posted on November 29, 2013 at 11:36 am 3

On Wednesday Open Thread

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Haha what when is a party not free???

Also I would go to a party with you where I didn't know anyone. Just imagine me (this stranger here) there, wearing a too-low-cut dress, taking my shoes off an hour in because I "thought maybe I CAN wear heels actually" and asking men I don't know to tell me what they think about the concept of masculinity. Then play off that.

Posted on November 29, 2013 at 11:20 am 0

On Wednesday Open Thread

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose True fucking that. My dog is a dangerous and really difficult beast, but I love her in a way I thought is reserved for a human child that comes out of your own body.

Posted on November 29, 2013 at 11:15 am 0