@hotdog I am certain, because it is obvious from the specific language she uses throughout the essay, that the "we all" the author is using is specifically referring to her high school cohort. Nowhere is she generalizing about thirty-somethings in general, come on.
@hands_down You could save the other half-an-egg in a container for when you make another six hours later?
Yeah, I'm holding out for number 3, because I would use that service right now, even though I had a handful of chocolate chip cookies for breakfast already. That's maybe another article I need? "It's Really Okay That You Had Five Cookies and Four Servings of Caffeine Before 10 A.M., No One Will Think You're Acting Crazy or on Speed When the Extreme Jitters Start in Twenty Minutes, No, It's Really Fine."