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On The bell hooks Hotline: For When You'd Rather Not Give Out Your Number

@Anita Jones@facebook On a less scathing note though, it's nice to see more than just a handful of comments on a post, even if it's just because we lurkers felt compelled to come out of the woodwork to smack down the idea that this is just us crazy women, always trying to make things more complicated and lowering the maturity level of discourse.

Posted on June 13, 2014 at 12:56 pm 1

On The bell hooks Hotline: For When You'd Rather Not Give Out Your Number

Yes, love all the just say no comments. Have you never been in a situation when saying you're not interested was not enough and the guy persisted in harassing you as if you didn't really understand what you were passing up? Well congratulations, how wonderful.

Posted on June 13, 2014 at 10:10 am 10

On The True Detective Emoji Puzzle

@hungrybee Ah sorry I didn't respond until this fell off the first page, but yes Maggie knows things, including knowing better than Hart or Cohle about how to sell total lies to detectives. Where is the emoji for a giving-no-more-shits lady pretending to be clueless about what these men did to break up their bromance?

Posted on February 25, 2014 at 5:30 pm 0

On The True Detective Emoji Puzzle

<3 Cohle's emergency trunk. Is anyone around who wants to talk about Maggie and last night? I don't want to get more detailed and spoil it for anyone who isn't totally caught up, but damn Maggie.

Posted on February 24, 2014 at 2:32 pm 1

On 30 Minutes with Christina Angela

@klemay Yeah, I totally get where you're coming from. I agree that online we tend to see a disproportionate number of personal essays that may give a misleading impression that sex work is nearly always totally OK and fun, and it was refreshing to get a different perspective here. I also concede I might have been expecting too much given the limitations built into the interviewer's circumstances.

Posted on November 12, 2013 at 12:46 pm 0

On 30 Minutes with Christina Angela

@ru_ri Thanks to you too for bringing up something that I admittedly paid less attention to than I should have! I understand though, that there are probably insurmountable limitations to what I was hoping to get versus what the interviewer could get. Maybe/hopefully a follow up though with more people from the sex industry will round this out.

Posted on November 12, 2013 at 12:39 pm 0

On 30 Minutes with Christina Angela

@klemay To clarify, my comments aren't coming from the perspective of not wanting to hear from a sex worker who doesn't like her job, but primarily as a point concerning the language barrier between the interviewer and interviewee. I don't mean I have any expectation that giving her the ability to communicate in a way she could express herself more fully would lead to her actually saying she likes any aspect of her job, but rather it would permit a deeper examination of the question the interviewer had when he approached her: how can she stand to keep doing this? She was able to convey that she was able to because her family needs the money and she was able to cope because of religion and laughing with her coworkers, but a better effort at overcoming the language barrier could have gotten a richer explanation of the people and faith that keeps her in a job that can be so dangerous and makes her so unhappy.

Posted on November 12, 2013 at 12:10 pm 1

On 30 Minutes with Christina Angela

@ru_ri Oh, yeah I do think the "Really, Hairpin?" comments don't add much and many times seem to come from a place of expecting disappointment, and I think that's unfair. I loved Edith and Jane's reign, but I think Jia and Emma are still doing great things, especially Jia's expansion of her interview series. I'm the type who tends not to comment unless I'm confused or concerned though (or I guess there's an opportunity to make a cheap joke), so I concede I'm likely not helping with the problem of the comments section turning into a less welcoming space.

You highlight an interesting part of this piece, but I guess what kept me from more fully exploring that part is how distracted I felt about the fact that once he realized they didn't have a fluent language in common, he didn't make an attempt to bridge that gap or find a different interview subject where the gap wasn't as apparent. It's as if he decided this was good enough. To me that ends up keeping her and her story at arms length and almost makes me feel complicit in perpetuating her marginalization when I read this. The way this was set up with the initially harsh description of her appearance and the gawkers' reactions to her, which IMO deliberately created a picture of someone deserving of only pity/ridicule/revulsion, I had high hopes that the change in setting to a one-on-one interview would do more to contrast that initial characterization of her, to return more dignity and humanity to her by having a real conversation with her. But that ended up falling short of what I was hoping for, because he ended up not giving her the full range of expression she is probably likely capable of in a different language. I think actually a lot of the comments on this particular piece have shared this concern in a fairly respectful albeit straightforward way, but are getting shut down with unnecessarily defensive responses (e.g. the comments about wanting to see commenters try to do better with their own 700 word pieces?). Maybe Jia's interviews (and Logan's on The Billfold, if anyone here is interested and hasn't checked those out) have given me unreasonably high expectations?

Posted on November 12, 2013 at 10:54 am 0

On 30 Minutes with Christina Angela

@roadtrips Yeah, in addition to agreeing with some of the observations made by previous commenters (both positive and negative), I'm also troubled by how dismissive some commenters are of any critical observations that have been made about this piece. I agreed with mollpants' questioning of the extensive use of direct quotes where the interviewer and interviewee didn't have a fluent language in common, but it seems any point of criticism is going to be immediately reframed as the commenter just being trollish or needlessly negative or being the commenter's own problem instead of a problem of the writing. It seems lately the comment section just doesn't seem very welcome to conversations that include diverse perspectives. That's a shame, because I like that Jia and Emma seemed to have made a conscious effort to shift the balance of the posts to add longer pieces and interviews with a broader variety of voices than what I could find elsewhere. But I feel like I can't talk about these pieces, only compliment them.

Posted on November 12, 2013 at 12:04 am 4

On Friday Open Thread

@Lisa Frank This week has been the worst, not the least because of the mansplaining bullshit illustrated in Jia's music festival piece and that Mea Culpa piece on The Toast (to clarify, awesome, wonderful, well-written pieces eloquently getting to the heart of how fraught it is sometimes to dare to be a woman out in public unchaperoned, but unfortunately both inspired by recent real life experiences). I loved those pieces because they made me feel less alone in my anger over some commonplace bullshit I also have to deal with regularly, but I also hated them because ugh, this just confirms how commonplace this revolting behavior still is. And then there are always the dbag trolls coming up in the comments saying, oh ho ho, kind of an overreaction li'l lady, don't you think? Why don't you respond to men's treatment of you as an inferior being in a more sensitive, less arrogant manner? You know, so as not to hurt their feelings?

Posted on July 26, 2013 at 3:52 pm 0