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By Nick Mikail@twitter on This Wedding Season, Say Yes to Strangers: What I Learned From My Craigslist Date

@stonefruit You are officially the 14th person to make a Cheney joke about my shooting.

Posted on June 7, 2013 at 11:45 am 34

By queenofbithynia on The Craving: One Woman's Salty Confession

@LilRedCorvette "Criticizing and ostracizing women who talk about the effort they make to lose or maintain their weight is just as shitty as criticizing women for putting on weight or eating unhealthily"

How exactly? Since I am way into imprecise rhetoric myself I would settle for a notion of how it's remotely similar in any way. also, how you can ostracize someone by speaking directly to them is also of some interest to me.

This was not an essay about the effort it takes to maintain or lose weight, incidentally (or not) -- it was an essay about hey I had an unnatural appetite, with the reassuring payoff that there was an unimpeachable explanation for it, liberally spiced with weight talk one-liners so ostentatiously wink-wink nudge-nudge that I wondered and am still wondering if it was a deliberate pastiche aiming for an effect I am too unsophisticated to perceive.

but anyway: We're well past the stage of confusing people by claiming that criticizing a thing is morally identical to criticizing any other thing, right? I criticize weight talk as it appears in popular women's mags and as artfully mimicked here because it's tedious, sexist in impact when not sexist in aim, insulting, and part of an ongoing homogenizing discourse that I take personally insofar as it functions as a direct assault on the parts of my brain I like the best.

If it's not clear what I mean by weight talk as shorthand, its essential feature is that nothing is justified and nothing is argued; everything is assumed: every thesis statement is carefully couched as a mere restatement and reminder of what every woman knows. It is as airtight as its practitioners can make it; the whole machine functions so that you can't get a grasp on a loose edge to ask "why" to any of it (why are you looking at your ass after you eat, why are you talking about "cardio" all of a sudden, why are we meant to understand this instinctively.) The trick is, if you will, to keep the reader or listener from seeing how the sausage is made.

Weight talk thus deserves speedy dismissal in a way that mere nonjudgmental self-reportage doesn't. I can read a billion books and essays both serious and lighthearted about self-care and self-loathing and body obsession, and I can do so with compassion and interest. I sometimes like to read about weird dietary regimens and exercise plans, if I am really bored, or want to be. whimsical pregnancy anecdotes, too, I don't go in for so much, but they are fine things in their way I guess. I bet the same is true of everybody else who so disappointed you. So I really don't think anyone is straight up going after women with differing interests for daring to be different. That is really not the issue.

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 8:59 pm 34

By hoo:ha on The Craving: One Woman's Salty Confession

Oh, so Bridget Jones is writing for the Hairpin now. How nice.

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 8:49 pm 30

By stonefruit on The Craving: One Woman's Salty Confession

@LilRedCorvette "Criticizing and ostracizing women who talk about the effort they make to lose or maintain their weight is just as shitty as criticizing women for putting on weight or eating unhealthily"

No, it is not. Or rather, right now, when women who publicize their efforts to lose or maintain their weight are valorized and women who put on weight or eat unhealthily are shamed and blamed for all manner of societal ills, it is not.

And YMMV, but I wouldn't recommend holding your breath until the day those two positions are flipped, because it sure doesn't seem to be coming soon.

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 8:33 pm 22

By Little_Lakes on The Craving: One Woman's Salty Confession

@whizz_dumb I'm beginning to think so! (Edit: Or, I guess I should say, "I'm sure feeling that way!")

I wonder what the next topics will be?

How I learned to love the Brazilian.
Why I don't mind that my husband makes more money than I do, even though we have the same job.
My sister, her therapist, and the perfect love affair. (Why this controversial pairing sometimes works out!)

Edited 65 times for clarity and HTML failures.

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 6:44 pm 27

By Jocasta Carr on The Craving: One Woman's Salty Confession

I enjoyed this piece, but the tone of "oh, a woman wanting to eat something that isn't salad or grilled fish, how transgressive and gluttonous!" is rubbing me the wrong way. I'm not saying it's bad or wrong to eat healthy most of the time or to put a lot of time and effort into diet and exercise; just a bit depressing to read about a person not even being able to eat a hot dog without having to look at her behind and make sure it's not expanding.

This is really an issue I have with the broader culture vs. Mara's personal experiences; I'm not at all judging her feelings or choices about food. But I'm tired of food having all these moral connotations for women (mostly) - you eat something fatty/unhealthy, you're being bad and you must atone by exercising more or eating salads for a week. We should be able to talk about eating hot dogs or whatever we please without having to qualify or excuse it as an sudden urge we "normally" wouldn't give into.

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 4:58 pm 40

By iceberg on The Craving: One Woman's Salty Confession

@Mae "But don't worry, turns out I was pregnant so it's OKAY."

Um they cost two dollars I could eat 3 easily without any guilt at all.

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 4:56 pm 38

By Radio_LJ on The Craving: One Woman's Salty Confession

@queenofbithynia Yea this made me really uncomfortable. I mean I totally get the weiner/sausage metaphor and how food=sex etc etc. But the repeated references to the horror of getting fat from one hot dog (really? Your jeans were tight after eating ONE hot dog??) made me feel really icky. The entire essay seems filled with fat-phobia. I'm really surprised to read this on the 'pin.

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 4:55 pm 33

By Mae on The Craving: One Woman's Salty Confession

@Hiroine Protagonist Yeah, this struck me as something you might see in a more traditional women's mag. "Guys, this one time I ate TWO hot dogs! I'm so bad!"

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 4:49 pm 33

By angermonkey on The Craving: One Woman's Salty Confession

@Hiroine Protagonist Yeah, I'll be over here enjoying the hell out of a Chicago dog with the other happy fatties. Or, rather, normal people who love delicious things and don't see food as a thing to be carefully purchased with cardio.

Posted on June 6, 2013 at 4:46 pm 29