I lve that the Downer White Witch of Narnia is thrown in here. Geez, lady!
@MilesofMountains Why doesn't she get to go to the party either?
@Sierra I dunno, the phrase "How do I get him to..." automatically sounds like trying to change someone. Congratulations, you married a passive aggressive dude. I don't think it's manipulative to not do the things you want. Maybe it's time for an all out throw down hullabaloo! Tell HIM that "come on, Nobody forgets for three years" when he gives you that line. Be honest. Maybe stop trying to communicate for a minute and be all "WHAT THE HELL, MAN." I'm not married, though.
Also after writing this hahaha oh god marriage is terrifying.
@Scandyhoovian hahaha ORRRRRRRR people just say shit. Seriously. People say shit they think they mean al the time because oh it sounds so goooooooood. "I would marry you. I'm being SO. INTENSE. RIGHT. NOW." We like pretending we're in movies - that we're these intensely romantic people. We like doing this from a safe distance like while with another person, because then it OBVIOUSLY doesn't actually mean anything. None of these dudes would ever actually marry you. I'm sorry. None would. Or they would and a year later they/you would be telling other ex-people they are THE ONLY ONE. Blech. Break the cycle!
LW4: It's guilt! GUILT and SELF LOATHING. These are sticky emotions! Maybe you feel guilty about cheating on him and fucking with him for 6 months. Maybe always being around him and new lady and them being happy made you realize how much you fucked shit up, and you hate yourself for that. The problem with guilt and self loathing are that it's easy to turn them into anger at OTHER people, when really, you're angry at yourself.
Best remedy: Forgive yourself (try a mantra like: "I fucked up, and this is just how it is now. I can't change it, but I can be better for it.") and then stop trying to force contact with these people. They are not your people, and it is not your life anymore.
Also, just because they live in the same building doesn't mean you have to see them. Does this building have no walls? Is it one big room? Is everyone in the hall all the time? Come on, now. You know you've been trying to run into them to feed your hanger (hate+anger). Stop it. Admit that you're trying to destroy yourself and them, then forgive yourself for doing that for so long, then move on.
@telling_everyone I'M SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE KNOWS ABOUT THIS. I work for a co-op, and some folks from mine had some things to do with getting this game off the ground. As a result, we were all given OUR VERY OWN COPY of this game, to keep, at our homes. Which led to much dust being collected by many boxes. What I'm saying is it is the most fun you can have without having any fun at all. BUT IT'S SO EDUCATIONAL, so I guess there's that. Also, on ANOTHER noter, July 7th is the international day of the cooperative, and 2012 has been declared the international year of cooperatives by the UN. GO CO-OP! http://social.un.org/coopsyear/
@OxfordComma NO, THE WHOLE MOUTH IS OFF PUTTING. I couldn't deal. I just looked at his hair most of the time?
@macaroni I DO THIS ALL THE TIME WITH EAST OF EDEN WHILE DRUNK. *fistbump*.
@teenie I read those in my mid twenties at the behest of a boyfriend (who is no longer a boyfriend!) who loved them as a preteen. Let's just say if eddings described ONE MORE THING as "dunn colored" i would have killed someone.
I'm sorry, because this is not a tale of it working out. This is a tale of that happened to me, and BASICALLY what it meant was "I'm too much of a free spirit to be tethered to a living situation with you, I'm going to move back to Maine (we lived in MA) but you stay here and take care of my cat and all my stuff until I find a place up there. We're still together though!" And then he rarely answered my calls but when he did he was all I LOVE YOU STILL. And then I told him to stop lying, to just end it already, and he did. And then he dated someone else, and now he lives in New Mexico.
What I'm saying is: sometimes people are afraid of letting go because it's fucking scary, but someone eventually has to be the brave one. See how it goes, but you're going to have many questions that he doesn't have answers for, and it's going to hurt and be confusing and eventually you will probably just not want it anymore.