Ben! Are you reading these comments? I have feedback for you; I hope that's welcome?
1. For someone who struggles with wanting to take words at face value, your statements in this interview are riddled with the most WONDERFUL, visual metaphors! Do you write creatively? Maybe consider doing that more, especially about your unique life experiences (as you did here, even though you didn't "write" this down). Your voice is poignant and vulnerable and relatable. And valuable.
2. I think that you will someday end up on a date with a woman who has the ability to be disarming. She will sense your discomfort and be able to make you feel okay about it (she might just say "you seem so nervous, you don't need to be!" with a genuine smile), and then you will be able to be honest and just talk about the fact that dating is hard for you, that you are afraid of alienating or offending her, that you have tried so hard to prepare in order to not do that. This level of honesty will come across as genuine (the scripted behaviors often just feel wrong to people, even if they can't point out why?). I suspect that being able to admit that you are struggling this way will allow you to move past that and actually enjoy the person you are with, enjoy the date activities you are sharing, and just relax in general. It will be fun.
3. Girls like this do exist. There are very many of them and you will run into them and the first one you encounter might not even be the last one you date!
4. You don't need to bring up the sexual abuse in your history ever; it's not something you owe to another person to tell them about. Just do that when and if you feel close enough to her to share that intimate information, if you feel the urge to do so. It's your story to do whatever you want with or nothing with. Yours.
5. On "when to bring up PPD," see #1 on this list. It will just come up naturally when you feel free to talk honestly about who and how you are with someone who is genuinely interested and comfortable with you.
6. Like others in this thread, I was so, so, so impressed by this interview. You come across as a wonderfully thoughtful, insightful, well spoken fellow. You will make a fantastic partner to someone who loves all of you, including your PPD ways.
@FoxyRoxy @Beaker I am in possession of something that I refer to as my "bitch forcefield." Despite being short, female, and in a service profession, I do not get harassed by random strangers on the street or creepers at work/in bars/etc. Hell, I'm massively pregnant as I write this and I have had a grand total of one belly toucher in the past 40 weeks. Sometimes this bothers me (I'm cute, too!) but, mostly, it's very peaceful.
I think the 9V battery that powers the glowing orb that is my bitch forcefield is my complete lack of compunction about saying things like "get. the fuck. away from me." Embrace it. Rock it. Also, know that you aren't doing anything to attract this creepy attention and, like PotatoPotato says, it's HR time. Or, hell, go ovaries out and call the cops. That'd be fun.
By rucifie on Four Men* and a Chest
@blahstudent Ughh, the pooping! I'm always lurking creepily outside the door, hissing, "what are you doinnnnng in there? We have reservations!" I'm not averse to a leisurely poop, but 20-30 minutes? Just hang out in the bedroom and I'll leave you alone, you don't need to breathe in stink fumes just to get some quiet time.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: Did anyone else think of Sir Richard hissing at Mary that he could destroy her when LW 3 told us her boyfriend wouldn't let her return to her grad program?
Yes, everything in life these days reminds me of Downton Abbey...
@wharrgarbl I know exactly what you're talking about! I get my mirth montrol from them because it's only 9 mucks.
@SarahP Dear A Married Dude,
My longterm live-in boyfriend and I like to pause movies and talk about what's happening in them, so it takes like 4 hours to watch a 90 minute movie, so by the time it's over we're too tired to go to the coffeeshop we were supposed to go to where we probably would have talked about movies anyway? I realize there isn't really a problem because we saved money and still had a good time, so maybe one of us should cheat so we're more interesting?
@tortietabbie Here, here, have some baby sloths getting baths.
@Donovan Gentry@twitter i am in the middle of villette, and LW makes ginevra fanshawe look like a goddess. as far as i can tell, charlotte bronte is all about women of deep feeling and strong moral conviction, who are very judgey and would 100% give LW super-side eye. (and maybe pass out from despair, only to wake up in a long-lost relative's parlor.)
@likethestore I use danskin tights - dancer tights are usually high in their lycra content, and nice and tough too, and some of the older styles have a nice waffle weave to them, and sometime a nice seam up the back... generally speaking, dancewear is awesome and should be worn all the time for normal non-dance situations.
By Hambulance on Five of Cups
@SomeGayGuy That is exactly correct, sir.
.... you're cured.