@faustbanana I would probably die. Especially if we happened to be anywhere near the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
This is timely; my co-workers and I just spent the last several minutes of our lunch break making bear-related puns. I share your love of wordplay, Alexa.
And I'd like to sign my husband up for this competition, because he is the best at puns. Story time: I work at a web company, and we signed a client several months ago whose business is manufacturing and selling urine-testing equipment. I was assigned the project, and I was telling my husband about how I had to reach out and introduce myself to the client the next day. That immediately turned into a pun creation session where we came up with an introduction email using as many pee puns as we could think of.
Here is a sampling:
"Urine good hands with [my company]; we really aim to please. We're going to give you a splashy design for your pee-commerce site."
Other puns used in the fake email including keeping the project on tract, gold standard of web design, streaming video, security leaks, we're a whizz at what we do, etc. etc.
@Emby Winner winner anteater ivf dinner.
@di Time to whip out ye olde Occidental.
"HA HA HA, I JUST LOVE OCCIDENTAL FOOD." [Douses hot dog in ketchup.] "IT'S SO EXOTIC." [Mouth full.] "SPICY!"
Chicago is a city. A city has good aspects. A city has bad aspects. I dislike that the negative opinion of one lady has such a crazy effect on everyone else's "opinion" about Chicago. I hate and I love different things about Chicago, which I think is normal. If you come visit Chicago with a preconceived notion about what it's like, then you'll never really get to enjoy it for what it is. Chicago is a complex city, and it's important to appreciate it for what it is instead of what it isn't.
Put on "I'm Coming Out" and makeover montage that fucker.
By lucy snowe on Seven Days
My dad takes glaucoma medication that makes his eyelashes grow. Apparently it's the same stuff Brooke Shields or whoever is selling. Also, apparently it can turn blue eyes brown.
Funny, no one seems to want to market a product that can turn blue eyes brown. Not even Crystal Gayle (who seems to have dumped the Mentat For Her on her scalp by mistake...)
By parallel-lines on Seven Days
At first I thought the headline reference to the Craig David song (modified for topic at hand):
Package in the mail on Monday
Used it for the first time on Tuesday
We were growing lashes by Wednesday
and on Thursday & Friday & Saturday
We weedwacked them on Sunday
By R&RKD on Tonight's Full Moon
So that's why I've been such a raging bitch lately. My therapist suggested unresolved issues with my father, and then there's also the more recent family stress, but I knew it was the moon.
He's SOOOOO not my type, but I want to bang this guy so bad.