@Diana wait wait wait. I know I'm late, but was his name actually "MIGHTmurderyou" was he in the SF area and was he actually really charming and cute?????
i just crawled out from under my covers with the worst hangover of i've ever had picked up my laptop and opened it to this....you're all insane don't drink it don't drink it don't drink it
@Alice OMG AGREED THIS DUDE IS SO GOOD.
upon reading this, my alcoholism has reached a level of dignity that previously i could scarcely fathom.
@becky@twitter yeah, i think on the road is a fantastic book, and jack kerouac was a fantastic writer. i agree that hunter s. thompson fanatics are annoying, but that doesn't diminish his skillz, either. and i love the catcher in the rye. growing up totally DOES blow.
@NYnative No. My point is that almost every industry has negative aspects to it, and sex work has more of them largely because of society's general unwillingness to provide any sort of protection or legitimacy to those involved. If it wasn't for the stigma, legal and medical help WOULD be provided for sex workers. The stigma is DEFINITELY the main problem.
To lump sex workers in the U.S. in with sex slaves in third world countries makes about as much sense as talking about factory workers at American Apparel and prison workers in China in the same breath. There is no comparison. And YES human trafficking is appalling- but it's just a completely different fight.
I think she should sleep with the dude for money if she wants to. There aren't many ways to make 500 dollars in an hour or two.
@NYnative I am a little late in my reply, but I think it's important that I do.
Whether or not it is possible for you to "not be ok with" sex work and not judge people isn't something I can speak to, but I do think that it seems highly unlikely. Whether or not you want to admit it, people who do things we're "not ok with" are diminished in our eyes.
Sex work is a feminist and gay activist issue for the most part, though humanitarians with a variety of passions have fought for sex workers rights.
What you understand about sex work seems limited. The "majority" of sex workers in the world are probably exploited, just as the "majority" of farmers in the world are grossly underpaid for their product, just as the "majority" of American students can't find their country on a map. If a LW wrote in and was considering becoming a strawberry farmer, would you be against it because of all the exploited strawberry farm workers in South America? They may be the majority in sheer numbers, but they're not the majority in terms of representation. Most sex workers in this country are not connected to crime, human trafficking, or drugs. Most are very careful about cleanliness and protection. And here's a statistic for you- most people are friends with a person who has engaged in sex work at one point or another and never even know it, because it is so stigmatized that many people don't feel comfortable even telling their closest friends about what they do.
Lastly, sex work is a service like cleaning a house or retiling a roof. If a friend offered me money to clean her house, because I was broke, would you assume I am desperate and afraid, and that I'm being taken advantage of?
Sex work usually DOESN'T turn sex workers on- of COURSE they do it for the money. Why the fuck do most people do their jobs? Not to get turned on! And that's ok. It's a profession like any other.
Look, I happen to believe that, in this case, sleeping with a friend for money could be a mistake, but when your arguments are packed with so much misinformation and carelessness when it comes to ACTUAL facts and reality, it becomes difficult for me to just sit by.
If you really want to know the facts, talk to these good people. http://stjamesinfirmary.org/
@NYnative Yes, to a certain extent, being a feminist means you have to be okay with sex work. It doesn't mean you have to ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE in sex work, but more or less being a feminist means not judging people based on what they do with their vaginas and not speaking disrespectfully of women who've made different decisions from you. Being a feminist is not just about choices, it's about respecting other women's choices.
@Titania OF COURSE you're allowed to have boundaries when it comes to what you do. Sex work is not for everyone, nor should it be.
I applaud you and your woman's college, your protests in DC (certainly been to a few of those in my time), and all the other decisions YOU made. I don't refer to what you've chosen to do in your life as THAT. I would also point out that, as a feminist, the idea that everything we do must "empower" us as women is a bit old fashioned. People have to do what they have to do, and while it's certainly POSSIBLE that she shouldn't do this, it sure as hell isn't because some dipshit dude is going to judge her for it later.
"but then I think, would I really want to marry a guy that was okay with THAT? Not really."
If you don't get why the wording and tone of this comment might be offensive to some people, I can't help you. But "THAT" is called sex work, and it's no longer required that you speak about it THAT way, if you decide to move forward into the modern era and use educated language about it.
P.S. referring to sex work THAT way makes you sound really, really young...
@thebestjasmine yes, this.