On Why Did You Even Put a Tree There?

Inconvenient tree brag: when my parents moved into their house their was a tree growing through the living room through the ceiling into the master bedroom. End.Of.Story.

Posted on October 25, 2011 at 12:46 pm 3

On The Super Bowl and 11 Other Things Women Prefer to Sex

as a young lady I would like to tell you how much I hate people going on and on about sex. How much they love it, how much they have it, how much the NEEEED it. If anyone tells them that sex is not all that important they freak and will often "feel sorry" for the poor creature (meeeee) that had expressed a lack of intense interest in sex. I think they are just going off of magazines and other media that tell you sex is everything and that talking about sex is a way to be interesting/popular.

Posted on February 7, 2011 at 12:29 pm 0

On Shaving Things That Shouldn't Be Shaved

For about 4 months when I was about 9, 10? i don't know. anyyyways, young enough that I would be ashamed about using a razor considering it would remind everyone that I had hair on my body, I would shave my arm hair into what was essentially a long perfect rectangle of hair. I was mortified when one day someone noticed how odd it looked and probably had a mini panic attack and never did it again. Also I am super bad at tweezing my eyebrows and people would mention that my eyebrows where different sizes (the people who did mention it did it so casually, as though it was just natural and not my fault) and just gave up on it entirely a year ago.

Posted on December 13, 2010 at 8:43 pm 0

On I Like Fat Chicks. Questions?

Imagine all the Complaining

Posted on December 9, 2010 at 1:30 pm 3

On I Like Fat Chicks. Questions?

re majority treated as a minority: ladies.
not a bitter comment. I enjoy complaining. As a lady, Jew, and short person.

Posted on December 7, 2010 at 12:45 pm 0

On The Israeli Military's Fake Facebook Parties

everyone knows 'attending' has a 40% success rate and 'maybe attending' is a surprising -14%. I suggest, no demand (!) the army throw this booby trap of a party.

Posted on November 23, 2010 at 6:44 pm 0

On 11 Ridiculous Things to Do With Your Boobs

"Cup Dip: Climb on top of his lap and lean forward into his face. It’s distracting. It’s a great tease to do..."
guy 1 'Hey, Yesterday Hillary put her tits in my face!'
guy 2 'yeah she did that to me too...was she sitting in your lap when she did it too?'
guy 1 "yeah!'
together 'she is such a tease!"

Posted on November 16, 2010 at 8:34 pm 0

On The Worst Makeout Mixtape Ever

Since U Been Gone by any a cappella band

Posted on November 15, 2010 at 1:30 pm 0

On Mmm, Nut Cairn

I have, on Good Housekeeping's advice, completely stopped cooking pasta and eat it raw by the handful.
they also informed me that it is a good idea to clean your face/hair at least every two years

Posted on November 11, 2010 at 4:16 pm 0

On Finally! How Cats Drink

I have found my cat doesn't drink water so I can't use this study. THANKS NEW YORK TIMES
seriously she lives off of about a tablespoon of water a year.

Posted on November 11, 2010 at 4:12 pm 0