@fabel It's okay, my brain was like "Giant banana?? what is happening here????"
By fabel on How to Enter Parties
It took my brain way too long to realize what that was. I was like, pool noodle? Where's the person behind it?
Delighted laughter with a tinge of quease.
Like Gregor Samsa...
By the roughest toughest frail on The Least Appealing Foods I’ve Eaten in Eight Years of Travel Writing
My family's from Southeast Asia so I can attest to the grossness of balut and durian fruit. My cousins decided to haze my American husband by making him eat balut and they gave him the exact same advice: eat in a darkened room and whatever you do, don't look down.
There's an ice cream parlor that sells durian ice cream in San Francisco. They keep it in the back, away from all the other ice cream drums. It tastes like how sun-baked dirty diapers smell, only creamy.
ETA: the grossest thing I've ever eaten is barbecued chicken intestine. It mostly tasted like texture (read: very, very chewy) until I bit down and a slimy mush slipped out of the muscle.
By jackietgregory on Farewell, Jane
Jane. What r u doing. JANE. STAHP.
By Norrey on Farewell, Jane
I felt a great disturbance in The Hairpin...
@collier Man, Imma have blue hair and glitter with me in my fucking grave. FUCK THA HATERZ. I had a boss who complained about my glitter nail polish to me so I reported him to HR. MY NAILS, MY BODY, FUCK Y'ALL.
Okay, nail time. This post is relevant to my obsessions., and some expertise.
1) Echoing everyone else, polish thinner. Don't waste your old polishes. Polishes get goopy when parts of them evaporate (no joke). Thinner adds those chemicals back in. And acetone seems like a good idea, but in reality will break your polishes down. Don't do it.
2) You should be keeping the necks of those bottles clean, anyhow--each time you go to use your polish, take a cotton ball soaked in remover and clean the dried remnants off the neck of the bottle. It will extend the life of the polish.
3) Cuticles! Well, number one, the pink lotion in salons...don't worry about it. Get a good lotion that doesn't have alcohol as the main ingredient and use it like crazy. Number two, cuticle oil. Morning, night, whenever your cuticles are dry. Olive oil, if you don't feel like buying cuticle oil! Jojoba oil! Hell, butter. The point is, apply lipids.
3a) Trimming cuticles! Okay, trimming them is a pain, but the majority of the time, you should be using cuticle remover and pushing them back. There are a bunch of good removers on the market, both high-end and drugstore. I use Deborah Lippmann's ($20, Nordstrom) and love it. Apply, let sit, push cuticles back, use stick to get off dead stuff. Ew, I KNOW. Repeat if necessary. Don't let your cuticles go for weeks between removing/pushing--push them back regularly! Get a good pusher, and do it anytime your cuticles are well-moisturized. I do mine almost every morning in the shower. Not kidding! Perfect time. If you NEED to trim them, I can't recommend Tweezerman's trimmer enough. I bought mine in a mini-kit that Sephora carries, and it's essentially super-sharp ended tweezers. You'd be amazed how much easier it is to trim a hangnail with them rather than the pliers-shaped trimmers. If you're terrified of trimming, do the pushing and use a remover, and see a professional every once in awhile for a good trim.
4) Base and top coat. Yep, important. Find those that work for you, though! A lot of people love Seche; I'm a butterLONDON fan. It's worth putting a few extra bucks into your base and top coats; they'll extend the life of your polish. If you're a huge glitter fan and want something that will even out the glitter and help it stay put, go find some Gelous.
5) Glitter! A pain in the ass to remove. Unless you use the foil trick. Soak pads in nail polish remover (honestly, I use 100% acetone), wrap them around each finger, and wrap each finger in foil. Leave on for about ten minutes. Glitter will slide off much more easily. I find that non-acetone removers don't do a whole lot for glitter removal, so grab one with acetone.
I can recommend some fast-dry topcoats that I apply when the polish is wet--Essie Good to Go, Poshe top coat, butterLONDON Hardwear, Rescue Beauty Lounge top coat. If your topcoat dries and it looks like it shrunk around your polish, find another topcoat; that one's not working for you.
Also, a fabulous nail resource that's pretty cheap is Ji Baek's book Rescue Your Nails. It will tell you just about everything you want to know.