Emily Gilmore has just taken off her skirt and escaped the basement through the window. Richard has followed her outside. READ MORE
Lili Loofbourow is a writer splitting her time between Oakland and Austin. She tweets as @millicentsomer.
Heather Gold is a comedian living in Oakland. She’s shared the stage with (among others) Patton Oswalt, Maria Bamford, Margaret Cho, Bill Irwin, and Judy Gold. She’s best known for her one-woman hit show “I Look Like an Egg, But I Identify as a Cookie”, an “interactive baking comedy” that’s made the rounds in Austin, New York, and most recently played to sold-out audiences in Berkeley. So far she’s baked over 50,000 cookies with audiences. READ MORE
There’s nothing like a sunny Tuesday morning to lure you out of bed and into the closet where you keep your desktop. From there you dive into Project Gutenberg, which you plunder, full of matutinal enthusiasm, for things to put on your Kindle so that you can fulfill a longtime fantasy: reading with scones on the lake. (This, by the way, is *the* reason to get an e-reader — not the lake bit, but the sheer bounty, the gems you’ve never heard of on Project Gutenberg, which are yours, for free, and which will break you with gratitude.) READ MORE
It would never occur to me to describe ears as “handsome volutes to the human capital.” That it did to Charles Lamb, who also called them “ingenious labyrinthine inlets” and “indispensable side-intelligencers,” says one thing about him and something else entirely about me, but it says something, too, about the linguistic environment where volutes to the human capital can thrive. Whether because of the Internet or some other mysterious, homogenizing influence, our language has lost some biodiversity. Even our obscenities—the parts of language least likely to lose their verve—have dwindled, and the survivors have dulled from overuse. “You've got balls,” we say, when once we could have yelled that “the testimonies of your Manhood are swell'd as big, Sirrah, as a couple of Norfolk dumplings!” Where we use mean hypotheticals, like "I would love to have the ability to make you sore," our ancestors promised each other nights spent “in prigging, wapping, and telling of drunken stories.” READ MORE