On Not Chasing Amy
@TheBourneApproximation It seemed wrong that my first FEELINGS about this article were: 1) AAAAAGGHHHHH WHAT ABOUT THE KITTIES??? 2) Whoa man, sorry about the awful, prolonged breakup with the parasitic sociopath. Thank you all for making me feel less Eleanor Abernethy-esque.
(That said, I was so afraid "living in Portugal" was some kind of metaphor to the second power for "they went to live on a farm, where they can run free and play all day...")
Obviously, there are circumstances where people have to give up their pets, and it's usually a heart-shattering experience. The fact that this chick was able to walk so glibly out of your relationship sans cats and avec shiny new engagement ring...well, it seems you're probably better off. Actually, so are the cats - lazing in the sun in Portugal all day? Pffft. You three protagonists win.
7
On What I Meant to Do
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this. I've always been filled with bile over Mother's Day, mostly because I don't understand how mothers and daughters (and whole families, actually) have relationships that aren't pathologically warped. I am truly glad you had so many mothers who were wonderful to you - they can really make a difference. :)
1
On Interview With an Element: Arsenic
@pterodactgirl Ha! I love this visual, and pictured practically the same thing. Is it wrong to say that I want to be Ms. Arsene when I grow up?
0
On How Murder Ballads Helped
@heyits @Danzig! Samesies. Thank you both for sharing, and massive (boundary-respecting) hugs to you both.
I can't tolerate anything depicting graphic violence, rape, torture, cruelty to children or animals (or anyone/thing, really), abuse of power, etc. I once idly picked up a friend's copy of American Psycho off the coffee table and read a few pages (I thought "everyone's talking about it, it must be really good!"), and nearly checked myself into the hospital following the subsequent week-long panic attack where I was convinced everyone around me was planning to kill me in my sleep with a nail gun and stuff my cat into an ATM. I realize that's not rational, but, gah...such is the power of a trigger. :/
I volunteer at a battered womens' shelter as a means of silent protest against all the horrible shit I grew up with, and all the horrible shit which constantly happens in the world at large. It's mildly triggering from time to time, but @heyits...you're totally right. Helping someone from the perspective of Knowing The Way, and maybe leading them down that Way a little bit is hugely, enormously self-helpful.
The horrible shit just keeps happening, but I guess the best we can do is build the safe harbors for injured ships to sail into when it's time. <3
4
On All the Weddings I Have Ever Been to, as I Remember Them
@itiresias You have given me a new dream in life - to have that same photo of my own child hanging proudly on my wall someday. And I mean that in the most non-photo-stalking manner possible!
0
On Signs of Possible Snobbery: A Partially Fictionalized Facebook Exchange
@parallel-lines Seriously. There is an inverse relationship between my age and my levels of not giving a fuuuuuck about being nice, sweet, compliant, What Others Think, etc.
I shudder when I think back to the nonsense I put up with in my youth just to keep people from being angry with me or thinking I wasn't a perfectly nice girl, and it makes me sad that there are girls who are doing the exact same thing at this very moment. I want to form a Fire-Breathing Bitch Task Force to look out for all the girls everywhere.
I find comfort in knowing I am making up for lost time now. RAWR.
2
On "Was My Face Red!"
@Ophelia I have had a secret dream of raising an Anastasia Krupnik-esque daughter of my own for years. Not just because I want her parents' lives, their house with a tower, Gertustein for a neighbour, and Frank the fish, but because she would just overall be such a cool kid.
0
On Living With Your Wanderlust
@RocketSurgeon I visited New Zealand once, left, went home for long enough to quit my job and pack up my cat and my grandmother's desk, then came back for good. I've lived here for four years now and absolutely love it. So, do visit En-Zed - you won't regret it! ;)
0
On Unfriending en Masse
@Sierra Charlie Oh Christ - the people who attention-troll with the haircuts, nail polish and new purses are the pits.
There is a girl I friended in good faith, but it's gotten to the point where I'm keeping her as a friend solely for schadenfreude-witnessing purposes (though, my finger does unconsciously hover over The Button when she pops up).
She's generally an attention whore (every bad date she goes on gets aired out cryptically in her status updates), but for a solid week prior to getting a haircut she posted twice-daily status updates re. "What color should I dye my hair on Saturday?" "Should I cut it real short?" "How blonde should I go", "Streaks or chunks?", etc.
For the week following the Homerian epic of her haircut, she kept hinting she'd post a pic of her new 'do, but then retracting her promise whenever anyone expressed interest. I think she wanted people to beg, but fortunately no one indulged her. She's 35 and a certified Grown-Ass Woman, so there was just no need at all for this. It's like, MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMNED MIND YOURSELF - DON'T MAKE ME FLY OVER THERE AND MAKE IT UP FOR YOU WHEN I SHAVE YOUR G.D. EMPTY HEAD.
I should also add, this all took place during the Japan earthquake/tsunami, so her posts were interspersed with those of my friends in Japan tearfully begging their local friends to contact them if they were still alive. Blonde Moment was either completely unaware of this tragedy, or she just thought it less relevant to society than her hair circumstances.
Reading "What about light brown? Hmmmmmm?" and then "To my missing friends in Fukushima, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact me at..." in my news feed gave me that "want...to...reach through the monitor...and beat her...with a copy of the day's...newspaper" feeling.
0
On Not Chasing Amy
@SarahP I try to balance the potential for harm in these situations - i.e., is it a dangerous secret to keep? If someone is at risk of massive heartbreak, financial ruin, plague, pestilence, locusts, etc., then the harm of keeping the secret is probably greater than that of telling.
My partner and I tried to help a friend by informing him that his live-in (gold-digging, malignant douche-tractor of a) girlfriend was remorselessly throwing it around like [sports metaphor that I'm totally ignorant of] behind his back. Said friend didn't want to know, promptly stopped speaking to us, and immediately turned a large portion of our circle of "friends" against us because of the "lies" we told about his fantastic girlfriend.
This obviously says more about the people who no longer speak to us than it does about us, but it still stings like mad that my partner is now ostracised from cherished friends because of such bullshit. Telling said friend was the least gleeful task ever, and we both were really sad for him, but...meh. These are absolutely joyless situations, and nobody ever comes out feeling awesomely righteous about themselves.
(Side note: LIGDMDT Girlfriend was not only forgiven, but lured back to Said Friend with a new iPhone, and most recently, a BMW and fancy new accommodation. Stupid is as stupid does, I guess - but it's absolutely maddening to watch a friend be a willfully ignorant supplicant in his own use and abuse.)