@letterwriterfour Dude. If you don't want to be friends with the mom, you shouldn't be friends with the mom, and you shouldn't have to be friends with the mom. Try to delicately introduce that idea to your man, and if he can't hear it, then try it without so much delicacy. Basically I'm just saying "you do you, girl." What she's expecting of you is weird. Accepting one out of three invitations seems generous. Boundaries! What if you break up? Why should you have to invest all this time building a relationship with his mom? Please. If you were married it might be different, but you're figuring out how you relate to her son and how your lives mesh together now, and how they might mesh together in the future, possibly, maybe, someday. Get lost, wanna-be-mom-in-law! Ain't nobody got time for that.
@purefog Aww, miss you Pot Psychology.
@ayo nicole Oh my god I just emailed the Badasses too. Yes yes yes. My mom is a foster doggie mom in NJ and we have a couple amazing rescue dogs, but I'm not ready for my own yet, and this would be amazing. Thank you!
@hellomynameis Get lots of samples! The little piece of paper w/ the color on it is NOT the same as paint on your walls. Get tons and tons of little paint samples, put them on the walls, and see how they look - at different times of day. And if you pick a color and you don't like it, you can always change it. Painting is great. But def do some research. Apartment Therapy has a lot of great posts that will help, and they'll have great recommendations about shades of grey and stuff. Grey is so great for a nursery, it will be wonderful!
Just coming here to say that I'm still in the office (In NYC) and I have so much more to do, I don't think I will ever leave. I may just live here, and only eat delivery from Seamless, and order toiletries from drugstore.com, and never ever leave. At least there is a bottle of wine here, that I am drinking, alone. Sad desk wine.
@Lu2 Totally. Vera Ellen's performances is so charmingly strange in that movie. Her way of playing lying is to slowly turn her head away from Gene Kelly, even as she slowly, slowly talks to him. "I do have many... social.. engagements..." On The Town, you so crazy.
On Ask Santa
YAY for this. Thank you. And double yay to Santa having an adopted lesbian daughter who he is just happy for. Love all parts of this.
Why hello, Matt Cavenaugh, nice to see you and niiiiice teeth. Hey there, "hottest man on broadway" Nick Adams, we salute you and your large lips. Also the dancer with the long dark curly hair was in In The Heights. I think she goes by "that fierce chick".
@Liz the Lemur If I may... would you reconsider sharing this with your mom? I ask because my dad is a therapist, and talking things through with him has provided some of the most important support I've had in some of my worst times throughout life. He has been crucial. You say that you'd talk to her if it were your problem, but it kind of IS your problem, you know? This isn't only your boyfriend's issue - being in a relationship w/ a depressed person can be incredibly hard, as I'm sure you know. Your experience of it is a big deal, and you deserve plenty of support for it. It isn't your job to go through this alone so that he's protected. If you can find one trustworthy friend to confide in, that might be good, too. I feel kind of like I'm butting in saying all this, but as someone who's been there, just wanted to share my two cents.
@Moxie He isn't yet. My personal feeling on the question of meds, for him (not for everybody), is that he has a lot to work through in therapy and it's worth taking a stab at them medication-free. During the times that he's not feeling depressed, it's harder to sort out what's going on and where the depression is coming from or what it's about, so I worry that meds would start a cycle of not dealing with it. If therapy really doesn't help then yes, meds might be necessary.
Here is a question - do people ever go on anti-depressants, and then go off of them later, and find that they don't need them anymore? That sounds silly, but how does that work?