@Edith Zimmerman Michelle is the loneliest number
@adorable-eggplant At the risk of maximum smarm, I kind of LOVE seeing people in my instagram feed doing awesome things, eating delicious food, seeing kick-ass shows, and holding adorable babies? (that was me using upspeak in my masculine baritone, because fuck the idea that conversational inflection changes are only affecting women).
Like, sure, there are gonna be some people on my instagram feed are having a better day than I am at any given time. Why the fuck should that make me feel bad? I mean, I'm not some magical yogi who never experiences desires or anything, but like...
When did "Oh that thing that other person is experiencing seems awesome!" become "FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER FOR HAVING A BETTER 2:38 PM THAN ME"?
I feel like it's not, and that plenty of adults in 2013 are just as capable of dealing with a healthy emotional blend of desire & happiness for others just as well as when we all lived in dumb fucking caves our our Best-Homo-Hablis-Friend-Ever went spelunking with the cuter of the two cave-people hitting on us at the Wooly Mammoth Roast.
@fakefighter Commenter Unfamiliar With Blogger's Work, Which Is Frequently Overblown in Both Arenas
@ clara morena Who needs a sugar daddy when one can make $66 an hour on the computer, just working on the computer for a few hours?
A full HOUR of laughing? Chill, yogis. Nobody can laugh that long.
I once went to hot yoga, and they did a five minute laughing thing at the end. We had to lay on our mats and fake laugh to start. One of my friends began giggling before we even started, and after about 10 seconds of fake laughing we all began cracking up hysterically at how stupid we sounded and couldn't stop. Funniest five minutes of my life! I'm laughing now at the memory. Tee hee.
My tiny scorpio mug chipped beyond repair today and I am in mourning. So thanks for this! Now wishing tiny scorpio mug were plastic sigh. RIP tiny scorpio mug.
Let us not forget that Christmas pudding can be made weeks or months in advance! Just hang it in a bag in your garage and regularly "feed" it with liquor to keep it moist (and prevent bacteria from building up). MmmMMMM!
@Bittersweet John Mayer is anti-hot. Like when I think of him it usually ends in "ugggggggghhh, well I should just join a nunnery because all men are skeevy letches who date a way too young T. Swift and sing awful, awful song. Must ablute away all traces of humanity and sew myself in a hairshirt so that I never have to think about the possibility of body being a wonderland."
@OhMarie This is the same reason I sort of wish there were mandatory adult uniforms for work (mornings would be so much easier), but I get that across-the-board sartorial restrictions are what probably leads us to our tyrannical dystopian future.
Did the "Master Cleanse" in my twenties. Threw off my digestive tract for 9 months and got thrush for life. In the words of my mother, ta dah!