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On What If I Am Never Anyone's Shorty, and Other Fears

I am 30 and am in the first real relationship of my life, because humans are awful and I don't like them. Actually being with someone I care about and letting them care for me blows chunks everyday...yet... it is worth it. I miss being single, though. And we met on OKCupid, after all the people I met through friends of friends turned out to be awful dicks who would dump people they'd been dating for a couple of months by not responding to texts, and then posting pictures of breakfasts they were eating with some lady, who would make comments like "That breakfast is almost as yummy as you!" Okay, maybe that was only one guy. But learn from me... you don't have to be perfect, and maybe give OKCupid another shot?

Posted on January 14, 2014 at 3:13 pm 0

On The Shark Has Pretty Teeth, Dear: Why I Teach Women Self-Defense

@Story #2 So sorry for your experience. I took a self defense class which stressed evaluating your options and doing what you feel comfortable doing. Which is what you did. It might be cold comfort, but you absolutely did what was right for you. You are not to blame for the choice you made in that horrible situation.

Posted on January 7, 2014 at 2:32 pm 3

On A Day in the Life of The Dopeass Tea Wizard

Dopeass Tea Wizard school- where is it? How do I sign up? The GREs did not include a section on tea, is this a problem?

Posted on December 18, 2013 at 2:28 pm 3

On Pass the Cranberry Chodes: Christmas, According to a December 1951 Copy of Woman's Day

Man, my eggnog must be laced with LSD. What a trip!

Posted on December 11, 2013 at 2:27 pm 2

On "Smile, Girl"

@TheGenYgirl Of topic a bit, but.... how the hell do I stop blushing, Camille Paglia? I would dearly love to know.

Posted on December 10, 2013 at 2:28 pm 3

On The New Mood Ring

@Blushingflwr That's why I wear lined bras. Am I cold? Am I letting my mind wander? very few people need to know. (Okay, it's often both, but still.)

Posted on December 5, 2013 at 2:15 pm 0

On Women Love "MommyJuice," Much As Our 1897 Selves Loved Dollar-Fifty Heroin From the Sears Catalog

@Regina Phalange I hear you. I still drink, but having had a raging alcoholic for a parent, it always feels like walking a tightrope. "Dismissive" is a good word for some of the feedback I get when I put a limit on how much I will drink in an evening. But how is me going to work groggy on alcohol affected sleep ever a good thing? And that's a light consequence of over imbibing.

Posted on November 18, 2013 at 3:13 pm 0

On Getting Guns

When I was coming home to visit, my mom informed that my mom's dude (who I had not met at that point) wanted to take me to the gun range. I was curious, and I figured it would be a good way to get to know the dude, on his turf. So we went, I found out I was really good at shooting targets in the head, except from when I aimed at the head. This was out in the desert, a guy had a decomissioned army tank, there was a good mix of the sexes, a lot of camo, and a guy who had something that looked like a shoulder cannon (not the technical term, I'm sure) shooting at a silhouette of a wolf. Glad I went, but I have no desire to repeat the experience.

Posted on February 12, 2013 at 1:28 pm 0

On So We're Not Going to Live Happily Ever After

@Faintly Macabre I bet we actually are related, so my crazy aunt really is your crazy aunt, too! So remember this story, as it is part of your heritage! (I'm sorry, your entire inheritance from this side of the Macabre family is stories about crazy aunts. What they lack in quality they make up for in quantity!)

Posted on January 29, 2013 at 6:31 pm 0

On So We're Not Going to Live Happily Ever After

@Ophelia Yes! My aunt used to work at a doughnut shop, and on Valentine's Day, lacking space to spell out the whole words, wrote "Happy VD" on the doughnuts. Sales were sluggish.

Posted on January 29, 2013 at 5:55 pm 8