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Lesbian Vocabulary, U-Hauls, and the Family That Comes Out Together

Just so you know, I'm straight. You're the best person to help me because I need to "come out" to my ultra-conservative, evangelical Christian family. I have not been involved in their religion in many years, but I was raised in it. Since becoming an adult and leaving the church, I have some family members who have become distant or cold, some who actively try to save me, and some who treat me like they always have. My entire extended family belongs to this religion. READ MORE

Weird Boyfriends and Height Differences

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year and a half and have lived together since last June. For the most part, things are really great between us. We're both 29. When I was 20 and 21, I kissed other girls (I was drunk both times) and I had a good time but it didn't go further than kissing. While I like looking at pretty women, I have never wanted to have sex with a woman. My boyfriend found some pictures of me kissing a girl (from when I was 21) and for a while didn't believe me when I told him there was nothing beyond the pictures. When he finally accepted that I was telling the truth, he became and is really disappointed. He really wanted me to have fooled around with a woman! He seems a bit different towards me now and says he is not as attracted to me. How do I help (or how does he help himself) get over his disappointment? He seems kind of obsessed with this and I want to help him understand that it doesn't matter that I haven't fooled around with a woman and that that fact shouldn't affect how he sees me. Do you have any suggestions for me/us? Thank you!! READ MORE

Recreational Flirting and Other People's LDRs

As a semi-closeted queer girl (as in, I'll tell people if they ask but don't go around covered in rainbows or anything, and it seems like "short hair, blazers, and DMs" reads as "fashiony" rather than "gaymo" at the moment), most of my friends who I don't meet through gay stuff start off assuming I'm straight. This is not a big deal; they tend to pick up after a while, but it does lead to some awkward situations. It's common among female friends my age to flirt, call each other sexy, cuddle and grope each other, make elaborate declarations of love or proposals of marriage, joke about having crushes on each other and female celebrities, and generally fool around. (Note: they exclusively date & have sex with guys, this is not a case of youthful exploration, this is a hilarious game.) READ MORE

Bi Identification, Moving Out, and the Rhinestone-Encrusted Manicure

1. I am a lady who has identified as bi since she was sixteen, in an 'I like people based purely on music taste and tattoos' kind of way. I lived in a conservative town so I didn't act on liking ladies seriously until uni, when I had some short-term relationships with unsuitable women. I ended up dating a man who got very turned on by the idea or inviting a woman into bed with us. He was really into BDSM, and we had a master/slave aspect to everything we did. He wanted it to be like that 24/7, but it was just the entirety of our private life. Eventually we did invite a girl to bed, and it was AWFUL. I felt really used, and hated that he seemed to like her body more than mine ... I reacted by going VERY homophobic, and started to hate that side of myself. I couldn't do anything after we left (dress myself without permission was an issue, for instance), and my homophobia was eventually sorted by my very sympathetic LGBTQ activist friends listening to a lot of bullshit. READ MORE

Honesty, Asexuality, and the Un-Recloseting

1. I can't talk to my friends about this, because they all think my girlfriend and I have the perfect relationship. We met through Craigslist casual encounters, and started out as fuck buddies. Which was fun! No shame there. Gradually, we fell head over heels in love with each other. She was talking marriage by the fourth month we were together, all that kind of stuff. She was an AMAZING girlfriend who went over and above (weekly cookie care packages! lovely love texts nightly! sweetest letters ever!). I was a pretty good one, given the fact that I'm a sporadically employed undergraduate student who can't afford things like surprise weekend getaways to the beach for birthdays. READ MORE

Spectrums and Attractiveness

1. I’m writing because, well, I’m not sure who I am anymore. I thought I had it figured out, going through college and a few years after as a straight dude, but more and more I find myself falling asleep hoping I wake up a straight chick. READ MORE

Long Distances, "Terribleness," and the Skin-Crawly Feeling

1. So, I have an emotionally confusing situation I'm hoping you'll be kind enough to help me with. READ MORE

Secondary Relationships, Tequila Fumes, and the Lesbian Internet

1. [Removed] READ MORE

I Never Meta-Horror I Didn't Like

Why do I love horror movies so much? Partly, of course, it is because I am emotionally unwell: I really enjoy being afraid. I have spent most of my life searching for the Perfect Scare, the Holy Grail of nightmares, that ineffable something that will truly, deeply, life-ruiningly terrify me. (And no, you guys, it is not The Exorcist. People need to stop suggesting The Exorcist. It's a perfectly good movie, but it didn't scare me when I was thirteen and it doesn't scare me now.) READ MORE

Rejection, Bigotry, and Vanilla With Sprinkles

1. I know this is going to sound pathetic and ridiculous, but that's exactly why I can't talk to my friends about it, so I was hoping you could help somehow. I was having a sort of long-distancey thing with this girl — we saw each other only a couple of times in person, but through calls, emails, and text we developed a pretty intense emotional connection and spent a lot of time talking about how hot we were for each other and describing in graphic detail the things we'd like to do to each other if we only had a chance. Then when we finally did meet up again, she suddenly broke it off — and we never actually did have sex. READ MORE