On On the Happiness of Procreation
I just read this to my husband, as he is still kind of scared about having a kid and how it's going to turn our world upside down.
I like the idea that while having a child definitely is a life changer, it's not always going to change it in the profound ways that everyone says. (and bonus points for the "FULL OF STARS" reference - I giggled at that)
Thing is, we're infertile. We started trying back in 2004, diagnosed with male-factor infertility and tried a few of the lower tech assisted repro methods, gave up for a while and tried to start living life as a childless couple.
But I experience real sorrow over the idea that this is it for us, so we're stepping up to IVF in the next couple of months, and husband and I are both wishing we were okay with not having so the can't have wouldn't be so hard to live with. I am not looking forward to being a human pincushion on the chance of having a child, but it's something that at a primal level, I have to try. (he does definitely want one too, but our infertility is male-factor, so he has the additional guilt of putting me through all the crap and needles and hormones too, so big scary time)
I always knew I wanted kids, so not having at least one is a seriously sad thing for me (like depressed and bitter and angry ALL THE TIME - just try watching TV or going OUTSIDE without seeing a baby or pregnant woman or something slapping you in the face).
But if you always knew you didn't want one, or were seriously not looking forward to having one, then KNOW YOURSELF and stop listening to what everyone says you should or should not be doing with your girly bits. It's your choice and you and your partner (if you have one) are the only interested parties that should have a voice in the matter. (and discuss that shit BEFORE you commit to the long-term/ring thing - and make SURE you're both being honest)
Same thing goes for what those people say you should or should not be experiencing if you do have a kidlet. I love that the author's love for her kid is a strong one, but still a familiar one. That's beautiful.
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On How I Got Rich Working at the Mall (Just Kidding)
@cherrispryte
I worked at a KayBee Toys through high school and right before I went to college. They promoted me to assistant manager and tried to give me my own store as an incentive to not go to college... um, no. I already was spending too much on toys and "collectable" action figures. (at least my hubby got some fun out of the original in package TMNT figures I stupidly saved).
Could never work at a bookstore. I'd be paying them to employ me due to the abundance of books I'd purchase.
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On Ask a Clean Person: Let's All Make... Our Beds
I don't make the bed. Ever, unless we've got workmen coming through or guests.
The hubband and I worked nights for a very long time, then I went days and he stayed on nights, and the bed was really only empty for a short period of time. We both don't care, and we have pretty sheets and pillowcases, so the covers folded down at the bottom of the bed aren't really that much of an eyesore, and the sheets/bed gets aired out every day.
Also, I have no idea what sadist came up with the idea that you have to share covers. I told hubband when we moved in together that I cocoon like a giant moth so he better get his own blanky. Keeps us both happy and sane and comfy.
Oh, and top sheets are pretty much scrap fabric in my house. Never saw the point to them. And the fitted sheets get rolled up. I watched the videos, and still can't fold them worth a damn. Life is too short to make the bed every day and fold sheets in my house. But I promise my bathrooms are sparkly clean!
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On Beauty Q&A: Grays, OTKs, and Sleeping in Rollers
I started going gray in my early 20s, and have dyed it since I was 14. (but the gray is obvious when it grows out now) I used to dye my own hair, and now go to a salon to get it done, and even bought the fancy-schmansy salon shampoos and stuff... and finally discovered an awesome line of shampoo/conditioner (organix) and my hairdresser even started using it. The key is sulfate free stuff. That shit is in most shampoos and will strip the oils and COLOR out of your hair fast.
I go every 6 weeks, and it's barely faded (at least you couldn't tell if you just were looking except for my half inch of roots showing... and that's what chunky hairbands are for!)
The organix stuff smells fantabulous (I love the mint and the coconut) and my color barely fades at all, and I'm dyed red with blondish pink streaks at the temples (like my avatar actually, but not an updo) and red is the fastest fading color, so that's pretty impressive. And I found that stuff in the drug store!!! Just stocked up as Wallygreens was having a BOGO free dealy.
(Red colors fade faster because the dye molecules apparently don't enter the hair shaft like the other dyes because they are too large to go in easily, so instead of dying inside and out, you're only dying the outside of the hair shaft, making it that much easier to wash out and fade)
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On Recalled Transcripts of My Salary Negotiations
I can't even remember what I got paid for babysitting, and I was a popular-with-the-kids one, so I got asked to babysit tons. (I would play games and do hide and seek and barbies and everything with the kids, so they loooooved me and frequently asked if I could spend the night - it was so cute!)
I do know in my early days, I got paid nothing... as my big sister (who hated kids but loved money) would bring me along and I would be the one playing with them, changing diapers (with pins even!) and general kid-keeping. I have no idea why I did that.
Now, I wonder if it is sad that I'd rather have more paid time off than $$?
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On Secret Weddings, Self-Googling, and the Unfriend
@KatieWK
Totally agree with you! Love the "moving is an answer to the wedding question" - excellent!
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On Ask a Clean Person: Sweat, Dye, Must, and Onions
I have bright auburn red hair with two streaks of white blond at the temples (they are Frankenstein's bride stripes - heh) and back when I still dyed it myself I had dye dripping down the wallpaper, on the toilet seat, on the fabric shower curtain... and I swear to frog that I'd be checking that whole room before I finished, looking for drips and STILL not see them until days later.
Does anyone else (that uses red hairdye) feel compelled to reenact the shower scene from Psycho during the rinse out? Or is that just me?
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On Ask a Clean Person: Sweat, Dye, Must, and Onions
@whizz_dumb
this is my new mantra!
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On Secret Weddings, Self-Googling, and the Unfriend
@andrea disaster
that's my go-to snack, along with a ripe avacado, eaten with a spoon. Bitefuls dipped in garlic hummus...yuuuuum.
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On Truly Upsetting
I'm so sorry for his family and friends. He was an amazingly talented person. He was my favorite out of all the Beasties.
I think it's a real shame that his death from cancer is not going to even rate as highly as some of the recent pop star deaths from drugs... his death was a real tragedy. He didn't waste his talents and did good things (not even counting his music) and deserves way more recognition than he will receive.
(and not meaning to be down on the pop stars themselves - I know there were demons that drove them to that end)