@Tuna Surprise At that age my little brother was hugely into the Norby series, which is about a robot who looks like a trash can, written by Isaac & Janet Asimov. Maybe that kind of thing + simple robotics project/kit? Or Calvin & Hobbes collection books?
I would shoot bobby pins and hair ties like Spiderman shoots web. Could be used for self-defense, I suppose, but mostly so that I have a fucking bobby pin when I need one.
I've taken on a covert operation to gradually switch out all the soda in my office fridge with LaCroix and it is totally working. It's a Professional Achievement that I intend to bring up at my next performance review.
On Which Name Is Weirder, Saxby Chambliss or Barkevious Mingo? The Answer May Tell You Whether or Not You're Racist
@yeah-elle At my last job we collected client names that could be used in a euphemistic anatomy class. My favorites were Candy Hatch and Chastity Gash.
@bananalise @mochi, you are so right about the noise cancelling headphones. Sadly I'm at the front desk so I can't do that. I'm left with no other choice than to type really loudly. Just clacking away here.
HOLY GOD IT'S FRUIT TIME
Which is when my coworker in a silent office eats an apple or plum or banana or ALL THREE and somehow manages to incorporate every gross sound possible. I posted a screed about this last week but it is HAPPENING AGAIN AND HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT LIKE IMAGINE EATING A BANANA WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN WITHOUT USING YOUR TEETH JUST YOUR TONGUE AND THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH and also it is inexplicably juicy and HOW do you even MAKE an apple SOUND like that I mean is it made of STYROFOAM?
Fruit time is the worst time of day/life
@ColdFinger same same same same same
(i wish i had anything more than that to add)
@Jinxie I was definitely in suspense. I opted for giant frozen custard! ...After the smug self-satisfaction of eating a beet salad (brought from home! made from my CSA contents!)wore off and starvation set in. So I think we all win, although I also have so much work time left...
@Jinxie ditto on the OKC burnout. Mostly burnout from the repeat-terrible-messagers. Dude, you don't get to give me a guilt trip for simply not responding to your message. I do not owe you anything and I promise you wouldn't prefer a "NOPE" reply. And that's not an argument I'm willing to have. Does this make me cruel and heartless?
@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) Oh god yes that piece gives me so much solace. My version JUST FROM TODAY:
me: oh my god she has a plum she's eating a plum i want to die
oh my god it's awful
there are all of the sounds
how does one plum contain every texture
every disgusting texture
there is grinding AND smacking AND sucking AND crunching AND weird tongue sounds AND slurping
just really going to town
it looked so small
but it just keeps going
the self-regenerating plum
and there is so much sniffling and coughing and it just never ever ends
this plum now involves gulping
i hope that means the end is in sight
(my friend): ahhaha
me: oh thank god it's over
the plum is over
but we haven't even reached banana time yet
there's so much day left
(my friend): so much fruit