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On When I Die, Bury Me With Several Carefully Embalmed Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

just fill my coffin with my nonna's gnocchi, toss me in there, and I'll be set for eternity.

Posted on November 20, 2013 at 12:04 pm 0

On There Is Horror Everywhere

pigeons that fly at your freaking face while you're walking down the street.

Posted on November 1, 2013 at 3:02 pm 0

On Happy All Saints Day, The Day We Listen to "Never Ever" By All Saints on Repeat

I may have screamed a little at my desk at this. (also, it turns out that I still know every single word of this song)

Posted on November 1, 2013 at 10:14 am 0

On Every Kind of Purse

@Urwelt my dad has solved this problem by wearing a fishing vest at all times with many millions of pockets that he fills with his business-y things plus gum, pens, etc. it's embarrassing and adorable at the same time. DADS.

Posted on October 31, 2013 at 2:31 pm 14

On What Is Most Millennial?

@Super Nintendo Chalmers LAURA BOW!!! I remember sitting in my parents' basement, eating famous amos cookies and playing the shit out of "the dagger of amon ra."

Posted on September 25, 2013 at 2:59 pm 0

On Which Name Is Weirder, Saxby Chambliss or Barkevious Mingo? The Answer May Tell You Whether or Not You're Racist

my mother in law INSISTS that (back when she did medical billing) she filed paperwork for a new baby named Female (feh-mah-lay). my claim that it's just a racist urban legend didn't go over well...

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 11:41 am 0

On What's the Best Song to Have Sex To?

bonnie prince billy has been my sexytimes soundtrack on many an occasion.

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 11:01 am 0

On This Moving Animated Short Features a Fiona Apple Cover of "Pure Imagination," Is an Ad for Chipotle

oh my god, those sad cows with their big eyes!

Posted on September 13, 2013 at 11:54 am 0

On Estate Jewelry: The Original Burning Man and A Ring For the Birds

I don't even like pigeons (they seem to constantly poop on me) but I just got a little emotional about mary the pigeon. thanks for your service, mary!

Posted on September 4, 2013 at 3:17 pm 0

On "I don’t want her to wear her good nature like a gemstone, her body like an ornament"

I work in advertising (a field that is, in my experience, still extremely sexist). my creative partner is also a woman and as a female team, we get a LOT of shit. just the other day, we were taken aside for what could only be described as a "talking to" for not being nicer and more accommodating about a bullshit situation. I sincerely doubt that any man in my office has ever been told to be nicer and to smile more when being asked to do something that is totally out of the scope of his expertise, as we were. it's because we are girls and we are not supposed to be firm or to stand up for ourselves. we're supposed to smile and say "yes sir, may I have another." (obviously, I'm still really mad about this. yeesh)

Posted on August 5, 2013 at 12:26 pm 4